The Thousandth Man
by transemacabre
Summary: AU. Loki was never adopted by Odin; instead he and Thor were betrothed at birth, with their marriage intended to bring about peace between Asgard and Jotunheim. The unwilling pair finally meet each other, but their bickering leads to Odin banishing them.
1. Chapter 1

_One man in a thousand, Solomon says,  
>Will stick more close than a brother.<br>And it's worth while seeking him half your days  
>If you find him before the other.<br>Nine hundred and ninety-nine depend  
>On what the world sees in you,<br>But the Thousandth man will stand your friend  
>With the whole round world agin' you.<em>  
>- Rudyard Kipling<p>

* * *

><p>"If you will but listen to reason-"<p>

Goblets went flying through the air, a spray of mead splashed against the walls. Thor Odinsson was enraged. His face flushed and his jaw set hard, his hands curled into fists to hit, or perhaps crush.

"A thousand years ago you bartered my life to those monsters, and you demand I listen to your reasons?" cried Thor, turning on his father. His mother, Frigga, ran forward and put her hands on his shoulders, trying to console him. "I am done with your reasons, old man! And this accursed alliance shall not stand!"

"In the name of my father and his father before him, no man ever suffered such contrariness in a son!" Odin slumped on his throne, rubbing his eye with the heel of his hand. "I swear it, Thor, before you are king you will learn what it is to make sacrifices for your kingdom."

"Sacrifices!" Thor said, almost pushing past his mother to yell at his father. "It is not your life you have sacrificed, but mine. You shackled me to some beast before I was even born!"

"Thor," said Frigga reproachfully. "Listen to your father."

"I-" Thor began, but bit off whatever he was to say next. On his throne, Odin stirred again, sitting up straight and facing his son.

"He is no beast, none of them are," Odin told his son. "They are foreign to you, yes, but they are beings of thought and feeling. And I've been told Laufey's son was chosen because he was thought to make a good match for you. He stands at the height of an Asgardian, and is said to have quite a talent for magicks..."

"So I got the runt of the litter," grumbled Thor.

Odin's eye flashed. "We have been entrusted with Laufey's greatest treasure," he said. "His son. You have been entrusted with him. A vow was made. We must stand by our word."

"Your word," said Thor. "I had no choice."

"We are royalty, our lives are never entirely our own. You have been taught that since birth," Frigga said.

"You could've done better for me!" Thor cried to Odin.

"I have chosen you an equal, one worthy of your stature. How could I have done better?"

"You could've chosen me a girl!" Thor said petulantly. "How are we to beget children?"

Odin sighed wearily. "The Frost Giants only have one gender, Thor. They are each male and female, and when the time comes, I am certain you and Loki will make as many princes and princesses as you wish. May you have a son as stubborn as yourself!"

Thor was aghast at this, and momentarily even forgot his own woes. "Only one gender - do you mean to say that King Laufey is a _maiden_?"

"King Laufey's maidenhood has been the stuff of legends since before your birth," said Odin in a dark and suspiciously bitter tone, and Thor, in a rare moment of wisdom, decided he did not wish to pursue this subject farther.

Thor crossed his arms over his chest and glowered crossly at his mother and father, and said, "I still cannot believe you are to put me through this with what's-his-name..."

"Loki," Frigga said helpfully. "It means 'air'."

"Enough!" Odin stood, brandishing Gungnir. "You shall marry him and love him as the air you breathe!"

***

A few days later, Thor, backed by the royal court of Asgard and his friends, met his intended on Bifröst, the rainbow bridge. He glowered from under his helm at the small contingent of Frost Giants, wondering which one was supposed to be Loki, the one he was to marry. Thor couldn't really tell one Frost Giant from another, and there were two or three of almost the same height as an Asgardian, but he'd be accursed before he'd lower himself to _seeking_ the beast out. At his side, Frigga kept a firm grip on his arm, a silent warning to behave.

Odin stepped forward and greeted a craggy Frost Giant as "Laufey", so Thor knew that was his future... Good-father? Good-mother? Was Laufey even a 'he'? Blast these Frost Giants and their single, inadequate gender pronoun!

Thus did Odin and Laufey spake, and Odin turned and waved an arm majestically in Thor's direction. "I shall present to you my son, Thor!" After a moment passed, when Thor did not move or speak, Odin repeated his name through clenched teeth. "THOR!"

Thor grunted, "Hrrrmph," and raised a fist in greeting.

Laufey elbowed forward a smaller Frost Giant, who glared back at Laufey as though in betrayal. Thor knew at once this must be Loki. Loki and Thor stood an arm's reach apart, eyeing each other for several minutes. Everyone around them seemed to hold their breath.

Laufey coughed into his fist. Loki hissed at him, "He wouldn't change for _me_!" but Laufey's answering glare must've been convincing, because Loki sighed and a moment later he _changed_. His blue skin and those terrible red eyes shifted, and now an elegant, dark-haired young man stood before Thor. He wore a green cloak and a horned hat and a bored expression on his face.

Despite himself, Thor was impressed. Loki had magicked himself into the form of an Asgardian! At least he wouldn't have to bed a Frost Giant... Thor had been dreading Loki trying to put his cold feet on him in the night.

Loki cleared his throat and began to speak. "O, Lord Thor, Thor the Thunderer," he said in a resigned tone. "How many eons I have longed for this day. The day of our marriage. To bring peace to our people." This speech was so over-rehearsed that Thor suspected Laufey had been forcing Loki to recite it until ten minutes before they arrived in Asgard.

"And now I stand before you. To be joined to your side. Forever-"

"Enough of this!" shouted Thor. He unentwined Frigga's arm, and stomped up right in front of Loki. "Are we going to do this or not? I grow weary of this yammering and posturing. We should just get it over with!"

Loki's pale skin flushed a bit, but he leaned forward and growled into Thor's face. "As you wish!"

Thor had thought that Frost Giants would stink of sulfur, but Loki's breath was surprisingly and pleasanty minty. Like the smell of pine needles on a cold, cold night. "Ah..." he began, but before he could finish Loki stalked past him, cloak snapping as he went. Thor wheeled on his heel and ran after him.

Behind them, Laufey and Odin exchanged a meaningful glance. Frigga released a deep breath. "I think everything's going to be all right," she said.

***

Asgardian weddings were quick and simple enough; no fancy clothes, no flower girls, no cake. After exchanging swords, the couple sat and received blessings from All-Father Odin.

As Odin droned on, Thor kept an eye on Loki. It did not escape him that Loki looked _through_ him and not _at_ him, keeping his eyes fixed on something just over Thor's shoulder. This ate at Thor during the ceremony. Did Loki not find him handsome? All the maidens of Asgard thought him handsome, and had told him so many times (well, except for Sif who never had patience with silliness like that). But then, Loki was a Frost Giant, and who knew what they found desirable.

For the first time, it occured to Thor that his betrothed might find him as foreign and unappealing as Thor had found Loki's true form.

After the ceremony concluded, the other Frost Giants departed with indecent haste. Thor was shocked to see them standing and filing out even before the feast began. Loki did not rise to say goodbye nor did any of them approach him. When he saw King Laufey stand and begin to leave, Thor could bear it no longer. "King Laufey!" he bellowed, pushing his chair back and leaping to his feet. "Do you mean to depart Asgard without so much as a farewell to your own son?"

A hush fell over the guests. Odin glowered darkly from his throne, but Laufey just drew his lips back in a smirk that was more of a grimace. "He is not mine anymore, Odinsson," he said. "He belongs to your kind now. And he knows his purpose. I trust you will find him most satisfactory."

Thor glanced at Loki, who sat by his side. As his father spoke, Loki's breathing remained carefully even and he did not flinch or cower. Only the rapid blinking of his eyes gave him away. Thor began to protest again, only to feel the icy grip of Loki's hand closing around his wrist. "Please," Loki whispered. "Please. Just let them go. We are not a sentimental people."

And Thor looked back up to see King Laufey already leaving the Hall, flanked by his guards. Grumbling, he sat back down, and when Loki withdrew his hand, Thor could still feel the cool touch of Loki's fingers ringing his wrist.

Mayhap he was wearier than he felt, or mayhap more nervous than he thought, for Thor's appetite was ravenous. He greedily devoured half a boar and was soaking bread in a cup of stew when he looked to his side to see Loki picking at his plate, his food untouched. "Does not our fare please you?" Thor asked him.

"It is overcooked," Loki said. His face was pale and dark circles were beginning to form around his eyes.

Thor peered at the remains of his boar, cooked rare as he liked it, still pink on the inside. "Do your kind eat your food _raw_?"

Loki's knife clattered on his plate. "I don't suppose it matters to you, Thunderer," he said venomously, "but my kind are not beasts to gorge on raw flesh."

"Your kind act like beasts," Thor grumbled around a bite of stew.

_That_ got a reaction. Loki twisted in his seat and hissed, "Ah, Thunderer, I suppose I am not used to civilized Asgardian customs. Tell me, do all Asgardians eat with their hands? Or is that just you?"

Thor self-consciously wiped his fingers clean on a cloth. "You are infuriating," he told Loki.

Loki's lips pursed. "I know."

After the Asgardians had filled themselves on good meat and good mead, and the Hall had been cleared, it was time for the bedding. Thor actually groaned aloud when he remembered this part of the wedding. The custom was to carry the married couple to their bedchambers, stripping them of their clothing along the way and making stupid jokes.

Sure enough, the Warriors Three draped themselves over Thor's broad shoulders, stupid jokes a-ready.

"He's a shapeshifter, Thor!" Fandral said, waggling his brows. "D'you know what that means?"

"There's not been a kiss yet!" Volstagg bellowed, slamming his fist on the table and making the plates jump. "Thor, you must find out if it is true that they have forked tongues!"

Hogun started to say something, but Loki brandished his dinner knife is such a ferocious manner that he thought better of it. Thor stood, pushing his friends back and away from the table.

"That's enough, all of you," he said, half-laughing and half-glaring at them. "I'm to take Loki to bed, but it will not be some public mockery. So off with all of you!"

"So eager!" cried Fandral.

"To love!" Volstagg hefted a mug of ale aloft, and then gulped it down dramatically.

Loki buried his face in his hands.

Fortunately, Sif swept in and herded the Warriors Three away. Thor took the opportunity to pull Loki to his feet and drag him from the Hall. If they were going to avoid more public humiliation, they needed to flee now. The Asgardians clapped and cheered at the apparent eagerness of the 'young couple' to consummate the marriage.

From his vantage point on his throne, Odin leaned over to Frigga and murmured, "I told you this was a good idea."

Thor and Loki made it to Thor's bedchambers without incident, but it was not until Thor had the door shut and bolted that he took a moment to exhale deeply. "Is that an Asgardian custom as well?" Loki asked, leaning cross-armed and cross-legged against the wall. "To watch us mate in public, like animals?"

"Only on wedding nights," Thor tried to explain.

Loki sniffed. "Disgusting. My kind do not do this." He stared at the magnificent bed with a lip curled in distaste. "_I_ cannot do this. I cannot."

It was the first crack in Loki's armor that Thor had been permitted to see. "So we shall not," he said. "But the others will be listening outside the door. They will expect us to consummate the marriage."

Loki looked at him wonderingly.

Thor quirked an eyebrow.

Fandral, Hogun, and Volstagg shoved at each other for position by the door. The crush of the other Asgardians behind them was nearly unbearable. "Can you hear anything?" Hogun asked, pressing his ear to the door.

Volstagg braced a hand atop Fandral's head, who squirmed uncomfortably. Though he tried, Volstagg could see nothing through the small keyhole. "It is for naught!" he cried.

"Get off me!" Fandral pushed at Volstagg. "You big lummox - wait! D'you hear-?"

"Yes!" cried Hogun excitedly.

"YES!" cried Thor from inside the bedchambers.

The Asgardians began to murmur excitedly at the sound of a bedframe squeaking wildly. Volstagg's lips quivered with pride. "Give 'im hell, Thor!" he shouted through the keyhole.

"Oooooh!" came a moan from inside the bedchambers.

The bedframe squeaked so wildly that it was sure to topple to pieces at any moment.

"Nnnngh!" someone grunted.

Hogun and Fandral's voices joined Volstagg's in shouting encouragement. "Make us proud!" "Show 'im what you're made of!"

"LOKI!" wailed Thor.

"THOR!" wailed Loki.

Volstagg and Fandral slapped hands in triumph. Hogun clasped them both in his arms. The crush of Asgardians collapsed atop one another even as Thor and Loki's cries reached a crescendo. From his post at the Rainbow Bridge, Heimdall sighed deeply in dismay.

Inside the bedchambers, Loki was bouncing wildly on Thor's down-filled mattress. "Do you think that's enough?" he whispered.

Feathers were floating in the air, catching in Thor's hair and sticking to his face, but Thor shook his head fiercely. "Come now, you can at least sound enthusiastic," he said, trying to keep his voice down. He felt a bit silly jumping on his bed like a boy, but it was neccesary to maintain the illusion of a vigorous consummation. And Thor would be accursed before he let anyone think their consummation was some whimpery, thirty second affair.

Loki began beating his hands on the wall in time to their bounces. Thor grabbed a pillow from the bed and flung it at Loki's head. "Gah!" yelled Loki as feathers exploded in his face.

An answering moan was heard from outside the door.

Loki, furious, caught Thor with a burst of magical frost in a very sensitive place, and Thor roared, "ARRRRRGH."

At that, the noise from outside was positively deafening.

Loki flopped onto the bed, arms and legs spread, panting. Thor leapt from the bed, tugging down his trousers to check where Loki had zapped him.

A dark chuckle, and then Loki said, "I told you, you were to keep those _on_ tonight."

"I just wanted to be sure the damage wasn't permanent," Thor grumbled, tugging his trousers back up. He sat on the edge of the bed, only to see Loki push himself to the opposite corner. "After all that, you think I'm going to throw myself on your prone body?"

Loki pulled his knees up to his chest. "Sleep on the floor."

Thor looked at him like he was crazy. "No! It's MY bed. You sleep on the floor."

Loki pondered this for a moment. "All right, but stay on your side." He arranged a wall of pillows between them to be sure.

***

A soft whimpery sound slowly lured Thor from the realm of dreams. He stirred, opening his eyes to darkness. Propping himself up on an elbow, Thor looked around. He was laying in his own bed, in his chambers, the fire in the grate having died down to a few glowing embers. Beside him was a wall of pillows, and beyond that he could hear that same mournful sound. He pushed aside some of the pillows to see Loki, curled in on himself, his hands drawn up to his face.

In his sleep, Loki was sobbing.

Thor was selfish and Thor was willful, but Thor was not cruel. Instinctively he reached out, cupping the back of Loki's neck with one hand, his fingers threading through Loki's hair. Loki shuddered in his grasp.

"Ahhh," Loki said, lifting his head a little as he awoke. He breathed through his mouth, every breath long and shaking.

Thor searched for words. "You are safe," he said. Though he spoke as softly as he could, his voice seemed to reverberate through his immense bedchambers. It occured to him that this was the most alone, and intimate, he had ever been with Loki.

Loki shuddered again, as though just remembering where he was. "Will you mock me now, Thunderer?" he asked in a choked voice.

"No mockery," Thor said, and then after a moment he asked, "Do you miss Jotunheim so?" He stroked Loki's hair, as Frigga once stroked his when he was small.

A soft laugh. "If you were exiled from Asgard, would you not dream of it in your sleep? Would your longing for home not trouble your dreams, making your waking a nightmare and your dreaming a torment?" Loki asked him.

Thor swallowed hard but was unable to answer. Loki a-waited a reply, but receiving none, rolled towards Thor so that he lay across Thor's arm. His cheek was warm against Thor's skin. They laid this way, eye to eye for several minutes.

At last, Thor spoke. "If it is your wish to return home, then I swear it, when I become king of Asgard I will find a way to send you back."

Loki's mouth twisted half in mockery, half in a sad smile. "Thunderer, you have took from me my home forever. They will never have me back." And he closed his eyes and returned to sleep.

Thor lay awake and watched the sun rise.

If Thor thought what happened that night would change Loki, make him softer or simpler to handle, he soon found he was gravely mistaken. Loki seemed to think every day was another infernal opportunity to confound and humiliate Thor. He played pranks, magicking doors so they appeared and disappeared, or led to blank walls, or to stairs that went nowhere; he enchanted Sif's hair to change colors at random; and memorably transformed Thor himself into a frog. The Warriors Three had a good laugh at that, and called him "Thor, Frog of Thunder" for a solid week afterward.

But worst of all, Loki could not be _silent_.

If spoken to, he would respond silver-tongued, insulting someone in such a way that they would be five or six steps away from him before realizing they'd been insulted. And it proved impossible NOT to speak to Loki; everyone wanted to talk to him, to get a reaction from him. Thor most of all.

"Your mother the queen is quite beautiful to look upon," Loki told Thor one evening as they feasted.

"Aye," agreed Thor, smiling.

"You take after your father," Loki said, taking a drink of mead.

Thor paused, thinking it over, then turned to give Loki a baleful glare.

But the worst was keeping Loki seperate from the Warriors Three and Sif. However much they tormented him, Loki paid them back in kind.

"Hoo-ah!" Sif cried as she swung a sword at Fandral's head. Thor, Volstagg, and Hogun stood nearby, watching them spar, while Loki stood a little apart, observing through half-lidded eyes.

"Lovely form, Sif!" said Fandral admiringly.

"Fandral, you flirt!" Sif narrowed her eyes at him, then blocked an answering blow from his sword.

Thor cheered as Sif and Fandral countered one another's strikes. Volstagg leaned towards Loki and said, "Not enjoying the sparring, Giant's Child? We Asgardians are a martial race, you know." He patted his substantial belly as he said this. "You must think us so brutal."

"Oh, I would never say that aloud," Loki replied.

Thor frowned at them over his shoulder. "Loki, enough!"

Pausing the sparring, Sif took a drink of water before turning to Loki. "Did not your father have you trained as a warrior on Jotunheim?" she asked. "Perhaps one day you would like to challenge me at the sword - or the spear, or the poleaxe."

"Alas," said Loki in a tone that made it clear he thought it no great loss, "I was not thought to make much of a warrior. By training and by inclination I am a sorcerer..."

"A trickster," muttered Hogun.

"...and my power is no middling thing," Loki continued, and as he spoke his form changed, and that which stood before them now was a lovely black-haired woman in a green gown. Her lips curled upwards at the corners at their obvious amazement. "I have so many skills," Loki said, twirling a strand of hair about her finger.

Fandral swaggered towards Loki, eyeing her up and down. "Lady Loki, are you trying to tempt me?" he joked.

"Fandral," growled Thor.

"If that was all I wanted," Loki said, tapping a finger against her cheek, "I wouldn't have to try."

"LOKI!" roared Thor, and Loki flinched back, returning to his male form. Fandral took a step back as well, surprised by his friend's outburst.

Thor flung his hammer at the floor at Loki's feet, and thunder shook them all, and cracks radiating out across the floor from where Mjolnir struck. "How dare you, you brazen troublemaker," Thor said, gritting his teeth. "How dare you make a mockery of me in front of my friends? I am-"

"FINISHED!" And Odin grasped him by the nape of the neck, and cast Thor to the floor. Loki actually cried aloud in shock, and Sif and the Warriors Three huddled together fearfully. Odin cast his eye upon them all, and it was terrible to behold.

"You!" he said, pointing to Sif, Volstagg, Hogun, and Fandral. "Begone from my sight, all of you." As they scattered, he fixed Loki with his terrible, furious eye and said, "But not you. Stay right where you are, Loki."

Thor lept to his feet, even angrier than before, if such a thing were possible. He had been infuriated by Fandral and Loki's flirting, but he was near to choking on the humiliation of Odin casting him to the ground like a naughty boy. "Father!" he bellowed. "What is the meaning of this-"

But Odin had reached down and picked up Mjolnir from where it lay, surrounded by deep cracks as jagged as lightning. "What did _you_ mean by this?" Odin asked, hefting Mjolnir aloft.

Thor flushed. "It was meant only to frighten him."

"You would rule Loki by fear?" Odin said, his hands shaking with emotion. "You are more foolish and more destructive than I ever believed, to think you can intimidate him into obeying and loving you. And you..." here Odin looked at Loki, who remained rooted to the spot, barely daring to breathe. "You are the best your father could find for us? A vicious little trickster who would incite fights between my son and his friends just to feel some small thrill of power over them."

The color drained from Loki's face.

Odin brandished Mjolnir and cried, "I see now that you both are unworthy of the responsibility given you! Never would I leave Asgard in the hands of two such as yourselves! I cast you both out - and may you not return until you learn to respect and protect one another!"

"Father," said Thor, but the world around them went white, and a moment later he knew not where he was, or _when_.


	2. Chapter 2

The blinding power of the storm spat them out, Thor hitting the ground first with a solid _whump_, making a Thor-shaped impact crater in the sand. He sat up, blinking as his vision struggled to clear, grabbing handful of sand. The wind lashed at him, tearing at his clothes and hair like an angry lover.

Seconds later, Loki appeared, tossed facedown between Thor's legs. "Arrgh," Loki moaned as he gathered his limbs under him. "Where are we?" Slowly he lifted his head, first to the level of Thor's crotch, and then another moan later, higher to look Thor himself in the eye. "Hel," Loki answered his own question. "We've been banished to Hel."

Sand streaming through his fingers, Thor said, "This is Earth, isn't it?"

Bright white lights appeared from the gloom. "A metal dragon!" Loki screamed, leaping to his feet. "It's coming right for y-"

The metal dragon honked a challenge. It's glowing white eyes left Thor frozen in shock. Before Thor could stand and fight, Loki iced his arm into a spiked club and swung out at the monster, caving in its skull. Screeching in its death throes, its eyes dimming, the metal dragon shuddered to a stop. Smoke billowed from its cracked skull.

"You," Thor stammered as he stumbled to his feet, "you saved me."

Loki's icy arm returned to normal. "Yes, well, don't get used to it," Loki sniffed.

The metal dragon's side split open and three small human forms tumbled out, coughing and shaking. One, a tiny and beautiful woman, stared in shock at Loki and Thor, then regarded the sad remains of her dragon. "You destroyed my van," she said wonderingly. "Why did you - what are you doing here, anyway? There was no one here before."

Thor put on his most winning smile and swaggered towards her. "I am Thor Odinsson, heir to Asgard," he said. "Did this beast belong to you? It attempted to maul us, but nevertheless, when I am king I will have you sent a chest of rubies to compensate you for the loss of your dragon."

"My dragon?" The woman gawked at him. "_Who_ did you say you were again?"

Her male companion pried open the beast's metal skull. "Oh, no," he said. "They smashed the head gasket."

"Is that bad? That's bad, isn't it?" asked their third companion, a dark-haired girl. She too was staring in wonder at Thor and Loki. "You," she said, pointing at Loki. "I saw you punch the van! Your arm, it was all - blue-y and stuff."

Loki drew himself up to his full height and pulled his cloak tight around him. "You imagined that, mortal!" he declared.

"Okay, whoever you two are," said the other woman, "my name is Dr. Jane Foster, and you just turned my research van into a big paperweight. So since we're all stuck here in the desert until the tow truck gets here, how about explaining how you appeared out of thin air?"

In the hour it took for the tow truck to arrive, Thor had given the three humans a crash course in Asgard, the Nine Worlds, Yggdrasil, and of course, his many adventures and exploits. Loki sat off to the side, arms crossed, trying in vain to ignore the humans very existence.

"Oookay," Jane said, cutting in before Thor could launch into another tale about defeating fire-demons, "um, Thor, assuming this - _incredible_ story is true, what are you going to do now?"

"I'll fetch my hammer and return to Asgard," Thor said blithely, as though nothing had ever been more obvious.

"Odin banished us from Asgard," Loki grumbled from his seat a few feet away. "Why should it be so simple to return?"

Darcy plucked at Thor's sleeve. "What's with Bela Lugosi over there?" she whispered, pointing to Loki.

"Ah, that is Loki Laufeyson, Loki Giant's Child, my consort!"

"Is he from another world, too?" Darcy giggled. "Transsexual, Transylvaniaaah-uh-huh-huh!"

Loki, utterly failing to understand the pop culture reference, drew himself up. "Are you insulting my parentage, mortal?" he asked indignantly.

"Oh thank god, the tow truck's coming," Jane said, standing up and dusting off her pants.

After the van was secured, everyone squeezed into the tow truck, which proved difficult with the addition of the two newcomers, who seemed to take up the entire back seat of the extended cab with their elbows, knees, and broad shoulders. Finally, Erik rode shotgun with Jane perched on his knee, Darcy sitting between them and the driver with the stick between her legs.

"All right back there?" called the tow truck driver to the two in the back.

"Never. Better," Loki gritted out through his teeth. He was wedged against Thor, and with every bump in the road Thor's knee rubbed against a very intimate place.

Darcy wiggled around and stuck something into his hand. In the dim light given off by the dashboard, Loki could make out a tiny box connected to two bits of string, with small buds dangling from either end. "Here ya go," she said. "Listen to this while we ride."

"What am I meant to do with this-" Loki began to say, but Darcy mimed sticking the little buds in her ears. Doing that, he pushed a button and discovered that the tiny contraption emitted music.

"So you boys don't have anywhere to go until you find your, er, your hammer, correct?" Erik asked Thor as they bounced along. "We can lend you sleeping bags for tonight, and tomorrow you can head into town and find out if anyone's seen your hammer."

"Excellent!" Thor said, his face lighting up. "I will remember your generosity when I come into my kingdom, this I vow."

***

The tow truck squeaked to a halt, and after the van was unhitched, it was time for the five passengers to climb out. Jane, Erik, and Darcy popped out of the front seat, followed by a grinning Thor, and then finally Loki, who was walking oddly for some reason.

As Jane and Erik talked to the tow truck driver, Loki accosted Darcy. "This town we are going to tomorrow," he said. "There will I find this Evanescence?" He held up her iPod, the front screen displaying _Evanescence: Bring Me to Life_. "For they alone speak to the pain in my soul."

Darcy stared at him with her big eyes. "Wow, you really are from another planet."

Thor approached them, holding sleeping bags tucked under one arm and an entire box of Pop-Tarts in the other. "Come, Loki!" he said. "Our hosts have supplied us with bedding and with these edible confections. Humans are generous indeed."

Loki ran after him as Thor went to spread their sleeping bags out on the ground. "You should not have revealed our origins to them," he hissed. "Humans cannot be trusted. They are vicious and cowardly creatures."

"Who told you that?" Thor scoffed. "Your father? He only wanted to turn their world into a frozen wasteland. So thoughtless of humans to be in his way."

Loki's mouth twisted. "Very well then!" he said petulantly. "Trust them with your life. You are powerless and lost among them, and when they turn on you, do not expect me to save you." He flopped down atop the larger of the sleeping bags. "And I claim this bedding for my own."

Thor sighed. He sat on the other sleeping bag, pulled off his boots, then reached across and lay his hand over Loki's. Loki froze, then looked down at their hands, then up at Thor, his mouth open a little. "Listen," said Thor. "I know that I have caused you much misery, and my rashness has gotten us banished from Asgard. I would move the Nine Worlds and the nine skies above them and the nine hells below them to make right these wrongs. Believe this, Loki."

Loki swallowed. "I-I would like some of those treats the humans gave us," he said at last.

Thor smiled, then removed his hand to pick up the box. Soon enough they had a little pile of foil and an empty box, and bellies filled with Pop-Tarts. "The humans aren't so terrible," Loki said after some minutes. "They did give us food and bedding even after I killed their dragon. If it had been my father's dragon, he would've turned us into toothpicks."

Thor coughed softly. "About that... is Laufey your father or your mother?"

Loki blinked rapidly at that. "We jotnar have not the same words for parents as your kind. We count only the parent that births us, not the other who begets us. So Laufey bore me, if that answers your question."

Thor gazed up at the strange constellations in the sky. "Your entire race is fatherless?"

"Jotnar do not mate for life." Loki sighed. "We mate to create strong offspring. He who begets the youngling takes no interest in it. As I told you, we are not a sentimental race."

Thor turned to him once again, rubbing a little at the scratchy stubble on his chin. "So it is foreign to you to be married at all, much less to an Asgardian like myself."

"It is not our way," Loki said, and he took a deep breath. "But you've never asked me so many questions before. Why do you wish to know?" He looked sideways at Thor, his brows furrowed. Guarded, always so guarded.

Thor pondered this a moment. He had spent the last few weeks thinking only of himself - _it is unfair that I must marry this creature, he does not talk to me, he does not touch me, he does not lay with me, he does not kiss me_ - but now, banished to Earth, he had a taste of what Loki himself must've felt, tossed into a foreign world alone and friendless. But I'm not alone, Thor thought. I have Loki with me. "I'm learning not to think of myself so much," he replied.

Loki and Thor burrowed into their sleeping bags, both of which were about a foot too small for them. They bundled their shirts into pillows for their heads and lay sprawled on their backs, staring at the cloudless night's sky.

"Can Heimdall hear us?" Loki asked.

"Heimdall hears and sees everything. But he is loyal to the king, and he will not disobey him. I must find Mjolnir, and then we may return to Asgard."

Loki seemed to consider this for some minutes. His breathing grew so slow and so even that Thor at first thought he had fallen asleep, only to hear Loki softly say, "Thor?"

"Mmmm?"

"Do you know that the only reason I am alive is because of you?"

Startled, Thor rolled over on his side to look at Loki, who remained on his back, arms splayed above his head, staring at the stars. "No," Thor admitted. "That I did not know. What do you mean by that?"

Loki's eyes slowly slid shut. "When I was born," he said, "I was so small and frail that it was thought best to leave me to die. It was thought a mercy."

"Laufey thought it a mercy," Thor growled. He could imagine King Laufey holding tiny Loki, Laufey frowning at his stick-thin arms and legs, imagine Laufey tossing Loki outside and leaving him to die.

"But Odin came, and said a boy-child had been born to him, and he wished for an alliance." Loki's eyes opened again, and they glistened. "It was decided that I might prove useful yet. That being so small, I would grow to an Asgardian's size and with magicks I could appear to be one. For that and that alone, I was allowed to live. As a youngling I was told many times that I owed every breath to you. So you see, Thor, you have only had to live with me a few weeks. I have lived with you all my life."

Thor clasped Loki's shoulder in his hand, wanting to pull Loki closer to him, to console him, and not knowing how. He had resented Loki, yes, and then desired his attention, his admiration. But he knew not how Frost Giants comforted one another, and he didn't think Loki wanted his embrace or his kisses. "Loki," he said, "your life is yours. But if you will have me, I wish to stand beside you. And you owe me naught."

Loki's lips trembled. "I am my own Loki."

"Yes. Forever."

And Loki laid his own hand over Thor's, and they fell asleep like that, with Loki on his back, and Thor on his side, curled next to him.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Jane Foster was hard at work pouring over her data, trying desperately for an explanation for her unexpected guests that didn't involve them being, in reality, millenia-old extradimensional godlike beings.

"Bad news," Erik said, walking over to her work station. "I just got off the phone with the mechanic. It'll be at least three days before he can get the van fixed."

Wordlessly, Jane held up a photograph showing the interior of the intense storm from the night before. In the center of the photograph, at the epicenter of the storm, were two human-shaped figures.

Back inside, Darcy was showing Thor and Loki how to turn on a shower. "Okay, you just turn these thingies," she said, twisting the spigots to demonstrate. "But don't take too long because we don't have a lot of hot water. There's some towels in the cabinet."

Loki glared fiercely at the ugly paisley wallpaper as though this whole predicament were _its_ fault.

Darcy had left and Thor had already shed his shirt before Loki thought of something. "There's only one shower," he pointed out to Thor. "Where am I to cleanse myself?"

Thor considered this. "You can share with me." He pushed aside the shower curtain. "It's big enough for two."

Loki looked unconvinced, but began stripping off his clothing as well. He could magick himself clean, but cut off as he was from Jotunheim and Asgard, he didn't want to waste his power on something so trivial. And anyway this was no different from bathing with his brothers and other warriors on Jotunheim. Thor was stark naked in moments, and climbed in the shower first. "Come on in, Loki," he said encouragingly.

Stepping gingerly into the shower, Loki turned this way and that so that the spray could wash him clean. Thor chuckled and playfully pushed at his shoulder, saying, "Let me by, I'm dry as a bone."

It was almost true; although Loki was slighter of build, he was as tall as Thor and blocked most of the spray. Stepping around Loki, Thor plucked a plastic bottle from the peculiar little basket hanging from the shower head. Uncapping it, he gave a good sniff and proclaimed, "Strawberries!" He then smiled so broadly that his eyes crinkled at the corners. "Hold still!"

"Heh?" Loki asked, but was a moment too slow to react, as Thor reached out and rubbed a handful of strawberry-scented shampoo into his hair. Thor laughed heartily at the sight of Loki's dark hair, now mixed with suds, sticking up and about in swirls and whirls.

"You oaf!" Loki said, pushing past him again to stick his head under the spray. Suds poured down his chest and shoulders. Still laughing, Thor combed his fingers through his hair, helping to wash out the shampoo. Satisfied that most of it was gone, Loki lifted his head and wiped at his eyes. Thor's laughter died down, and when Loki peeked an eye open, Thor was watching him with an odd expression. It occured to Loki that they were standing very close, so close he could see water droplets caught in Thor's eyelashes. "What are you looking at," Loki asked, ducking his head again.

Thor's fingers combed through his hair again, but then ventured lower to rub at his neck. Loki's skin prickled deliciously. He felt every rivulet of water pouring down his body, the callouses on Thor's fingers, his own wet hair clinging to his skin. "I'm looking at you, Loki," Thor said.

Loki looked up at him through the wet strands of hair coiled around his face. The moment seemed to stretch between them, as though the world around them held its breath, and then-

"Blast!" cried Thor as a stream of cold water hit him square in the face.

A few moments later, after fighting with the curtain and twisting the spigots this way and that, Thor and Loki climbed from the shower. "Darcy did warn us about the hot water," said Thor ruefully.

Loki smirked. "A little cold water too much for you, Asgardian?"

"I wasn't born in a frozen wasteland," said Thor as he pulled towels from the cabinet. "And I'm mortal, and in this form not so resistant to the heat and cold. You still possess all your magicks and Jotun powers?"

"Odin is your king, not mine," Loki told him as he pulled on his trousers. "I had my magicks before Odin, and I'll have them still long after him."

Meanwhile, Jane was excitedly telling Darcy about her findings.

"Soooo... they're not ridiculously cut, crazy homeless guys?" Darcy asked, pushing her glasses further up her nose.

Jane flipped through a stack of photographs and equations, her eyes blinking rapidly, still unable to process what she was seeing. "I don't know what they are," she said. "All I know is, they weren't there before the storm, and then suddenly there they were. And it looks like the storm just... sat them right down in the middle of the desert. My findings are consistent with a conjectured Einstein-Rosen Bridge."

"Whatever." Darcy sprawled in her seat. "I saw Lo-Lo's arm turn into a spikey blue club thing before he rammed into into your van's grill. I knew he wasn't human."

"I always heard stories about Thor when I was a boy," Erik started to say, but then a door slammed open and Thor and Loki appeared, each clad in their trousers and not much else. Their hair was damp and they had clearly both just come from the shower.

"Jane, Darcy, Erik," said Thor, giving them a wink as he strolled past. Loki favored them with a more enigmatic smile.

After several long moments, Darcy turned to face Jane again. "Ridiculously cut, crazy homeless gay boyfriends," she said.

"Uh." Jane lept to her feet and ran after Thor and Loki. "Let's get you two some clothes," she said, ignoring the tragic look on Darcy's face.

* * *

><p><em> Jotunheim<em>

In the icy ruins of a temple stood two living beings: the Jotun king Laufey, and his second son, Helblindi.

"What word from Asgard?" growled Laufey.

"The king Odin Oathbreaker banished Thor and Loki to Earth, and shortly after fell into the Odinsleep," said Helblindi. He was a tremendously tall giant, the pride of Laufey's life, his second-born but chosen heir. Helblindi and his third son, Byleistr, they had not been disappointments like runty little Loki.

Laufey nodded, linking his fingers together before him. "Just cause for war," he said. "We entrusted Odin with your brother, only to see Loki cast into the pit of our enemies. The jotnar cannot be expected to bear such an insult."

Helblindi's lips cracked open at this, revealing a mouth filled with gleaming teeth. Laufey did not smile, but his gleaming red eyes burned and burned with something akin to gratification. He had not expected Loki to give them a pretext for war so quickly. This was going better than planned.

***

Back on Earth, Loki and Thor had accompanied Jane, Erik, and Darcy into town. While getting breakfast, the group spotted a pickup truck with the entire back half torn off parking in front of the coffee shop. Jane inquired as casually as possible as to what happened to it.

"Damnest thing I've seen in my life," said the pickup's owner. "A hammer in the middle of the desert, funny writing on the side. No one can pick it up - no one! Don't matter how strong. Hell, I chained it to my pickup and tried to pull it, and look what happened."

Thor jumped up so quickly that he flipped his chair over. "You have seen Mjolnir!" he cried, grabbing the pickup's owner by the shirt collar. "You must tell me where!"

"It-it don't matter now," stammered the man. "Those black-suited government boys have the whole area fenced off now. You can't get it it."

"Thunderer," said Loki in a bored tone, "it can't be as simple as just walking up to Mjolnir and seizing it by the handle. It's a banishment, you know. Odin would not allow us to come back so easily." Loki was slouched in his chair, legs spread apart, doing something odd to his fork and knife to make them stand on end. Two small children at the next table watched him intently. Noticing, Loki let his eyes flash red just to see them squeal and then giggle with a mixture of shock and delight.

Nevertheless, Thor got the truck owner to draw a crude map on a table napkin, and pocketing it, determined to go in search of Mjolnir. "You can borrow my bike," Darcy offered. "You just gotta bring it back. And fill the tires if they get low."

Once they returned to the RV, Jane lent Loki a pair of binoculars. "They allow you to see far away," she explained as he attempted to peer through the wrong end. "You might need them to check out where you're going. Here, turn them like this. There you go."

Loki looked through, only to find himself staring at a closeup of Thor's smiling mouth. "What are you so happy about?" he asked, lowering the binoculars.

Thor was wheeling out Darcy's bicycle. "It is like a metal horse," he said, admiring the wheels and dainty spokes.

"But unlike a horse, hard for two to ride," Loki pointed out. He refused to be left behind with the humans, but he was certainly not going to walk. It took a bit of trial and error, but soon Loki and Thor found a solution to their problem.

Erik sat on the front steps of the RV, staring at some notes. "Are you sure we should be letting them run off like this?" he asked Jane.

She sighed. "They'd go regardless, I think. I just hope that whatever they are or wherever they're from, they find what they're looking for..." she trailed off as Thor and Loki rode by on the bicycle, Thor peddling as Loki perched on the handlebars. They waved jauntily at her and Erik.

"Bye!" called Darcy from a window. "And don't forget to BRING IT BACK!"

Thor and Loki zoomed off down the road towards the site where Mjolnir had fallen. Thor hadn't been in such high spirits since their arrival on Earth. "Soon enough, we'll be home," he told Loki as they coasted down a gentle slope.

Loki didn't say anything in reply.

They took a break about halfway to the site, sitting on the roadside, sharing some fruit Jane had packed for them. "Argh," groaned Thor, stretching his legs. "You grow heavier and heavier by the moment."

"Has the Odinsson found a burden he cannot bear?" Loki asked, arching a brow at him.

Thor grinned at him. "You're no burden to me."

"You felt differently in Asgard," Loki said before he could stop himself. He looked away, tossing the pitiful apple core as far as he could throw it.

Thor's grin fell. He took a deep breath, and kicked a little at a mound of sand by his foot. "I... knew not how to please you. I thought at first to merely endure you. Then I wished you to admire me."

Loki tensed up, like a snake cornered and preparing to strike. "Is that why you flung Mjolnir at my feet, to force my admiration?"

"Ye gods, Loki," cried Thor. "I could not bear seeing you flirt with Fandral! I would have done anything to make you smile, but instead you would give your sweet words to him."

"I have _never_ flirted with Fandral!" said Loki, outraged. "He flirted with me, mayhap, but I never so much as glanced at him. Thor-" And whatever he meant to say next was silenced when Thor laid his hand across Loki's mouth.

The effect was immediate. Loki's eyebrows knitted together but Thor leaned forward and kissed the back of his hand, right above where Loki's lips were hidden by his palm. Thor drew back, flushed to his ears, and Loki stared at him, mouth a little agape, his expression surprised and confused and perhaps a bit hopeful.

"What," Loki finally managed to say, "was that?"

"I needed to kiss you," Thor admitted. "But I did not wish to steal your first kiss. But I needed to kiss you, Loki."

Loki looked around him, blinking rapidly, strangely breathless. "You," he said slowly, "are infuriating." And he grasped Thor by the shoulders and kissed him fiercely with everything he had.

In a moment they had tumbled upon the ground, their mouths locking together, the kiss deepening and becoming more heated with every moment. Thor's hands wandered across Loki's body, from shoulders to hips to chest, and Loki made soft little moans between every kiss that left Thor maddened. It was several long moments before they remembered themselves and sat upright, each reluctant to leave the other's mouth.

"My marriage," Loki whispered, pressing his lips to the hollow of Thor's throat, "will not be consummated on a roadside in New Mexico."

"Aye," said Thor, fighting for control of himself. He cupped Loki's face in his hands. "Am I still infuriating?"

Loki favored him with a half-smile. "Every day more and more."

They sat back-to-back for some minutes, watching the sun sink towards the horizon. Finally, Thor rose and brushed off his jeans, determined to resume peddling. He offered a hand up to Loki, who pushed him aside and stood up on his own. Loki frowned at the clouds in the distance. "A storm is coming," he said.

Even with the map, it was hard to miss the site. Strange vehicles patroled an area that was fenced off and covered in odd white tents; within presumably lay Mjolnir. Thor and Loki hid Darcy's bicycle, and crept closer, taking a high spot on a sand dune.

"How many?" Thor asked as Loki peered through his binoculars.

"Too many," Loki said unhelpfully.

Thor grinned in anticipation. "Are you coming with me?" he asked.

"Someone has to stay behind to rescue you when you get captured," Loki told him. For that, Thor kissed him on the neck, just below his ear, and then slid down the sand dune to make his way toward Mjolnir.


	4. Chapter 4

Loki kept watch through the binoculars as Thor infiltrated the site, and began to make his way to Mjolnir. Above them, dark and ominous clouds rolled in, and a chill wind caressed Loki's skin. Loki inhaled deeply, wondering if the storm itself was calling out to its former master.

Something moved in his vision, and he looked up to see a strange contraption swinging through the air, carrying a man holding a bow. Looking down, Loki could see that the bow was trained on Thor himself as he battled against the humans. _They mean to attack him from the air_, Loki thought darkly. Mayhap he should create a little havoc for these meddlesome humans...

"I'm starting to root for this guy," Agent Barton said into his comm. Cold rain ran down into the chinks of his body armor, falling off the tip of his arrow. Below him, he watched the intruder tackle another agent. Barton tested the tension on his bow when the world exploded into green sparks. Before his vision even cleared, he could feel the bow _warp_ in his hands, becoming lighter, softer. Wrong. Blinking frantically, Barton held up his hands and looked down to see...

A chicken.

"BWAAAWK!" The bird fluttered in his grasp, and Barton was so shocked he dropped it, watching it flap to the ground, then scurry off into the darkness. He stood there for a long moment, mouth agape, comm crackling with static.

_"Agent Barton, come in. What's happened?"_

Barton stared at the few pitiful feathers clinging to his gloves. "Uh, I'll tell you more about it in a minute. You're not gonna believe this."

On the ground, Thor staggered in triumph over to Mjolnir. The storm roared above him, calling his name, the lightning illuminating the world in brief flashes of electric blue. Now he would reclaim his power, bring himself and Loki home with glory. He grasped Mjolnir's handle and gave a mighty tug.

Nothing happened.

Shocked, Thor tugged once, twice, thrice more, giving it all his strength, before collapsing next to Mjolnir in shock. This could not be! Had Odin abandoned him forever? Had he cursed Thor and Loki to eternal banishment? Loki, Thor thought, looking up at the sand dune where Loki was hiding. Loki expected him to return with Mjolnir. Loki depended on him to return with Mjolnir. The warm core deep inside of Thor cracked in twain.

He had failed miserably.

Loki cursed under his breath as he watched the humans swarm Thor. He could tell from the expression on Thor's face that the shock of being unable to reclaim Mjolnir had taken all the fight out of him. Groaning, Loki set the binoculars aside. He supposed he really would have to go in and rescue Thor after all.

***

"You know, this is all really quite humiliating," Agent Coulson told Thor in a pleasant tone. They were sitting in a stark and sterile interrogation room, Thor bolted to his chair, Coulson sitting comfortably across from him, a briefcase at his side and a clipboard in his lap. "My men are among the most highly trained professionals alive. And you tore through them like they weren't even there. I won't even go into the business with the chicken. Agent Barton still can't explain what happened."

Thor stared at him blankly. His beautiful blue eyes were dull, unfocused. This was a man who had shattered inside, where it counts. Coulson rubbed at his eyes. He had a feeling this was going to be a long night.

"Uh, sir?" An agent stood timidly at the door, face pale. "There's something you need to see."

"It can wait," Coulson said, but then Agent Barton stuck his head in and said, "No, really. You need to see this."

Coulson walked to the viewscreen, peering at the grainy monitor. The security camera was focused on the base's main gate. Outside, the last rumbles of thunder were dying as the storm passed. Coulson watched in astonishment as a dark-haired young man in mismatched clothes rode through the gate on a bicycle.

Loki peddled merrily along the muddy path. He saw the humans running towards him, and whispered an enchantment that would leave them dazed. Sure enough, the guards began stumbling about, turning in circles, staring about them as though seeing the world anew. Once he had rode up to the strangely-shaped tent, Loki dismounted and sat the bicycle aside.

A clean-cut man in an immaculate suit appeared. "I'm Agent Coulson, I'm going to have to ask you to remain where you are. You're on restricted government property."

Loki pressed an index finger to his lips and hissed, "_Shhhhhhh_. Thor is here?"

Agent Coulson's eyes went wide. "Thor is here," he repeated dreamily.

"Good. Take me to him," Loki murmured, low and seductive to maintain the enchantment.

"Take you to him. Thor is here. Good." Agent Coulson led him into the building and down a hallway. More guards appeared, but Loki's spell left them staggering to and fro, staring at their own hands as their fingers appeared to blur the air.

Upon seeing him, Thor almost blurted out his name, but Loki shook his head fiercely at him in warning. Too much sound would break the spell, snap the humans back to their senses, and it would be almost impossible to put them back under quickly enough. "Thor comes with me," Loki told Coulson.

"Thor comes with you," said Coulson, and within moments Thor's restraints were removed and he was standing, rubbing feeling back into his wrists.

"Stay right here," Loki said, "and lay down and go to sleep."

"Lay down and go to sleep." Coulson obediantly sat on the floor and lay on his back, rumpling his suit. Chuckling under his breath, Loki quietly led Thor out of the building. Mounting the bicycle, they peddled away as fast as they could.

It took all of Loki's concentration to maintain the spell until they made it back to the highway. At that point, he figured they'd have a few minutes before Coulson's men caught up to them. Spotting headlights heading their way, Loki lept off the bicycle and stood in the middle of the road, waving his arms.

A truck slowed to a stop in front of him. "Hey man, are you okay?" asked the driver, sticking his head out of the window.

In an instant, Darcy's bicycle was in the bed of the truck, followed by Thor and Loki. "Drive, drive!" Loki cried. "Men are after us! Drive as fast as you can!"

"Holy crap, the fuzz is after you?" The driver gunned the engine, zooming off down the road. "The border police?"

"They almost caught us once tonight," Loki yelled through the tiny back window into the truck's cab.

"I hate those guys, always going after immigrants! Hey, you're all right with me, man," the driver assured them as they disappeared into the darkness of a desolate New Mexico highway.

***

"So, where you boys from?" asked the driver.

"France! We are from France!" Loki yelled as he struggled to brace himself in the back of the pickup truck as it bounced along the hills and slopes of the highway. Thor slumped against him, burying his face in the curve of Loki's neck, as though unwilling to face him.

"France huh?" The truck spun off the road, bumping along a gravelly road until it came to a stop in front of a small ranch-style home. After killing the engine, the driver clambered out so that Loki could see he was a pot-bellied fellow with long scraggly hair and a kindly smile. "You boys staying in Puente Antiguo?"

"Yes," Loki said. "The nearby village, yes."

"Okay, you boys can stay in the back of my truck tonight. I'll bring you some blankets out. I'll drop you off back in town tomorrow morning."

"Thank you," said Loki humbly.

"Ah, it's the least we can do for some of Lafayette's boys," replied the driver, giving Loki a thumb's up. Loki pursed his lips in confusion but decided it was wisest to keep quiet. True to his word, the human brought them blankets so that Loki and Thor could build little nests for themselves in the truck bed.

Thor sagged against Loki, his head bowed as if in defeat. It bothered Loki that Thor had not spoken a word since they fled the site where Mjolnir was kept. Thor kept nothing hidden, he spoke his mind and every emotion etched itself on his features, making him easy to read - Loki had been raised as Laufey's son, Laufey who barely moved his lips to speak, and he had found Thor's earnestness unnerving for the first few weeks.

Loki struggled for something that would help, but the jotnar were not demonstrative, and all he could think to do was to brush the grime from Thor's face while putting his silver tongue to use. "It will be all right," Loki assured him. "Earth is not _so_ terrible. I will learn Earth magicks, with those I can defend us against any threats. There must be a place in this realm we will be welcomed." Loki wiped mud from the creases of Thor's eyelids. "We will be safe. We will be content. Do not despair. Thor... speak to me."

Thor placed his hands over Loki's in a gentle, warm grip. He lifted his eyes, and they were so full of pain that Loki could think of nothing to say.

"I have truly made you suffer, haven't I," gasped Thor. He inhaled deeply. "All of this... the marriage, the banishment. The slurs I cast at you. The danger I've put you in. All of this I have brought down upon you."

"Thor," Loki began to say, but then Thor stood and climbed from the truck, staggering down the road. Cursing softly to himself, Loki leaped out after him. "Thor! Listen to me!"

"You would be better off without me," Thor said as he walked along, Loki right behind him. "In my mortal form I will slow you down, I will provide a distraction."

Loki grasped him by the shoulder and wrenched him around, forcing Thor to face him. "Listen! I still possess my powers, and my knowledge besides. There are hidden paths between all the realms, and I am a master of magick. There is something I have not told you before... I could have returned to Jotunheim at any moment."

Thor gaped at him. "Y-you could depart Earth for Jotunheim?" He ran a hand through his hair. "Why didn't you?"

"Because I believed you could reclaim Mjolnir and return us to Asgard in triumph!" Loki panted with the intensity of what he needed to say. He _needed_ Thor to listen, to look past his own misery and comprehend the enormity of what Loki told him. "I believe in you still. At any moment I might have abandoned you and returned to Jotunheim, but I did not and I shall not."

The storm had long since passed, but a powerful wind swept in from the east, tossing their hair and clothes and curling around them like the arms of lovers. "You have not abandoned me," Thor whispered, and he reached out to Loki.

They embraced, and Thor kissed him again, and their mouths meeting only for the second time. The wind whipped around them, and Thor pulled Loki closer, feeling as though they could share the secret, hidden parts of themselves. Loki clasped his hand and led him back to the truck, where they tumbled into the nest of blankets and curled around one another, Loki's legs entangled with Thor's legs.

They did not dare to undress, but quietly moved one against the other, until the friction and the heat was too much and Thor found himself fumbling with the button of his jeans. Loki batted his hands away, popped open the button expertly, and reached inside and took a firm hold of Thor's member. In an instant Thor arched up against him, spilling into Loki's hand, clutching Loki with all his strength.

Loki kissed him again and swallowed the shouts of his own name.

Once Thor's body had ceased to shake, Loki pulled back, only to have Thor press him down and undo his trousers. "Wh-what are you-" he began to ask, but Thor whispered, "Be not afraid, it won't hurt", and took Loki in his mouth.

Loki thrashed so hard that the truck rocked back and forth. Thor held his hips and kept working his mouth, while Loki struggled to breathe through it. He had never felt _anything_ like this in all his life. Needing something solid to hold onto, Loki grasped one of Thor's hands and entwined their fingers, squeezing harder as he felt his body quake into its blissful release. Thor held him tight and licked him clean as Loki lay back, boneless and pale. "Oh, oh," Loki said with every exhale, as Thor lay again beside him, wiggling into the crook of his arm. They lay together contently, staring up at the endless spray of stars overhead.

"Loki, tell me true," Thor said. "Am I frightful to look upon?"

Loki regarded him with his curious pale eyes. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"I know you're a Frost Giant in truth, and my kind must seem odd, if not hideous to you. You could barely look at me when first we met. Am I am ugly creature in your eyes?"

Loki chuckled softly. "I do not know what Asgardians find beautiful, but I find you most tempting of all Asgardians, if that allays your fears."

Thor stroked a hand down Loki's chest. "Would," he paused and began again. "Would you cast a spell upon me so I might lay with you as a Frost Giant?"

Loki barked out a shocked and odd little laugh, and his eyebrows quirked. "You would have me glamour you so you had the semblance of a Jotun?"

"Do try, and if you find me more pleasing in that form, I will remain as such when we couple." Thor sat up and closed his eyes, obviously bracing himself for a transformation. Loki scoffed softly, but seeing little reason not to go along with Thor's odd wish, cast an enchantment.

The effect was immediate; Thor's skin darked to blue, and when he opened his eyes they were redder than the hearts of rubies. Beneath the glamour he remained Thor, but to the eye he was a Frost Giant. Thor flexed the claws on his hands and looked up at Loki. "How am I? If this were Jotunheim, would you find me pleasing?"

Loki wore the smile of a boy who has discovered that his name-day gift had arrived early. "If this were Jotunheim," he replied, "you would be as far from my reach as the stars above." He pinched Thor's bicep between thumb and forefinger and added, so that Thor's arrogance would not grow, "For all that you would make a pitifully small giant."

"Hah!" Thor said, but in an instant the glamour disappeared. "But why-? Did you not wish to lay with me in that form?"

Loki kissed him on the forehead. "I am ever Loki, in this or any other form. But you should remain Thor. I do not need glamours to make me desire you."

* * *

><p><em> Jotunheim<em>

"Sire, we should strike now!"

From atop a crumbling throne, Laufey cast a disapproving gaze upon his son. He and Helblindi crouched inside the ruined temple, trusting in its faint and broken power and Helblindi's magicks to shield them from the prying eyes of the Asgardian gatekeeper. "It is not yet time," he said, pressing the palms of his hands together in contemplation. "Odin must weaken further, until he awakes nevermore."

Helblindi snarled, a deep throaty that seemed to rumble from the bowels of Jotunheim. "There will never be a better moment to launch an attack on Asgard! If we wait any longer, Loki will either be returned from exile, thus robbing us of our pretext for war, or Odin will awaken and all our hopes will be for naught."

"I have ruled Jotunheim for five thousand years," Laufey said. "I did not rule for so long by charging into war at the slightest provocation. Should Loki die, our cause will be just. Should Odin die, our cause will be _assured_."

Helblindi raked his claws on a pillar in frustration, his mighty strength making the entire structure tremble ominously. "You would stay our hand at the moment of our greatest triumph!"

"And you would rashly destroy the work of a millenia!" Laufey stalked down from his perch to face his son. "I chose you of my three younglings to be my heir, and it is you alone who sits in counsel with me. Patience, Helblindi, patience! Your king and sire demands it."

Helblindi released a deep breath. "You're right, Sire." He straightened up, approaching Laufey with hands raised to beseech forgiveness. "I see the error of my ways. Come, give me the kiss of peace."

And Laufey did gather his second-born to him, did let Helblindi put his hands to his neck and pull him closer to bestow the kiss of peace upon his child's brow. And as Laufey's lips brushed Helblindi's brow, Helblindi jutted spurs of ice from his hands and tore forward with his tremendous strength, severing Laufey's head from his shoulders.

Laufey collapsed to the ground. Helblindi looked over his corpse; he had thought to feel something, perhaps guilt, but he felt nothing at all. It was very like standing over a broken doll. He heard footsteps shuffling towards him, and turned to see his younger brother, Byleistr, watching from the shadows.

"It is d-done?" stammered Byleistr.

Helblindi nodded gravely. "Our sire the king has died of grief over the miserable fate of his eldest youngling, Loki. All Jotunheim must be in mourning for him... and ready themselves for war."

"And L-loki?"

Ah, Loki. Helblindi summoned his magicks and in the smooth surface of a nearby stalagmite was reflected the forms of his sibling, Loki, sleeping next to the accursed Odinsson. Loki's arm was even wrapped around the Asgardian. Disgusting.

Loki was more useful dead than alive. So long as he lived, Loki remained Laufey's _first-born_ and had the stronger claim, no matter what Laufey himself had preferred. And of course, should Loki die, the fault would lie with Asgard for exiling him to Earth. The jotnar could not be expected to bear such an insult.

Helblindi viciously scratched out Loki and Thor's faces on the stalagmite. "Kill him."


	5. Chapter 5

Their new friend Owen drove Thor and Loki to Puente Antiguo the next morning, bright and early. Fortunately, as both Thor and Loki were hopeless with directions, Jane Foster's base of operations in the old Smith Motors building was hard to miss.

"Awright boys, take care of yourselves and remember, _don't trust the police_," said Owen as he waved from the cab of his pickup truck. "À bientôt!"

"Gesundheit," Thor called back as he and Loki waved farewell.

As Owen sped off, Jane and Erik came running out of the RV, Darcy strolling behind. "You're back!" Jane gasped. "I can't believe it." Her hair was unbrushed, and her eyes ringed with dark circles. She looked like she hadn't slept since Thor and Loki saw her last.

Erik was nervously peering down the street. "Did anyone spot you on your way here?"

"No, I don't believe so," Loki told him as Erik tried to herd them towards the RV. "What is happening?"

"These guys, they said they were from the government," Jane began. "They showed up last night. I guess someone had seen us with you, and tipped them off. They said they were with something called SHIELD, and they confiscated all my research, my equipment, my photographs, my backups, the backups of my backups..."

"They stole my iPod!" said Darcy.

"They stole Evanescence!" cried Loki in horror.

Jane tugged at him and Thor. "Settle down now. You two need to hide in the RV. I don't want anyone seeing you here, or those SHIELD guys will be back. Just lay low for a couple of days, okay?"

Loki climbed into the RV and collapsed on the bed, but Thor paused on the steps of the RV. "You have been a gracious friend to us," he told Jane. "I thank you. And I and Loki will do all we can to see that which is rightfully yours restored to you."

Jane sighed. "Look, I don't know what you truly are," she admitted. "But I know you're not of this world. I'm on the verge of something amazing, and I think you two are part of it. But right now, just keep your head down." She shut the RV door and ran back to her work station.

Thor climbed in the shower, while Loki pouted on the bed. He did not understand the humans' passive response to the theft of their belongings. On Jotunheim, the stronger took from the weak, and one must be vigilant and aggressive to defend oneself. That was why Loki, always so puny for a giant's child, had devoted himself to magick. He could never out-fight another Jotun, but he could out-wit one. _Erik, Jane, and Darcy should march into the SHIELD base and take back their belongings_, he thought. _With Thor and I at their sides, they could not fail. Perhaps I will suggest this to Thor later._

But when Thor returned from his shower, Loki forgot all about that idea. Thor was clad only in a towel and his clean skin gleamed. Loki gave him a slow once-over, from his shoulders down his chest and belly, to the tempting little trail of hair that drew his gaze to where it disappeared beneath the towel. Smirking at Loki's frank stare, Thor climbed into the bed next to him. His wet skin smelled of soap and something that was uniquely _Thor_.

"There's an ancient Asgardian custom," Thor said, settling in next to Loki, his hand on his hip. "Whereby vigorous lovemaking increases one's magickal powers."

"I think you're making that up," said Loki, struggling not to laugh as Thor leaned over and rubbed his face against his neck. "I don't think that's a real cust- ha, your face is scratchy!"

"And yours is clean-shaven." Thor kissed his chin and then his lower lip.

"I'm a Jotun, we can't grow beards," Loki replied, but kissed Thor back hungrily. His right hand wandered lower, plucking at Thor's towel.

"Brazen," Thor mumbled against his mouth.

"But not unwelcomed," Loki said, pulling away to kiss the pulse-point of Thor's neck. His hands stroked Thor's member, urging him to full thickness. Thor flushed, his breaths coming in little pants, and Loki's own manhood swelled in anticipation.

Loki mouthed at Thor's neck, thrilling at how Thor's pulse quickened at his touch. Thor shifted beneath him, laying back and spreading his legs, the towel falling open so that Loki might look upon him. Loki's hands worked between Thor's legs, one on his member, the other caressing his sac and then slipping behind to tease at his entrance.

When Loki's kisses trailed lower, Thor arched up against him, painfully hard in Loki's grasp. Loki tongued at his tip, then sat up to get a look at Thor's face as he lay with his hair wild against the pillow, his eyes bright and pupils dilated. Thor smiled at him, _at him_, not keeping his eyes closed, not pretending Loki was someone else.

Loki's fingers slid from crotch to thigh, stroking the underside of Thor's knees, even as Loki put his tongue to Thor's cock, licking from base to tip, then taking him into his mouth for a moment before pulling back to lap at his sac.

"Loki," Thor gasped out, "I want you - inside - please - I want..."

Loki paused just long enough to grope desperately for Jane's bottle of hand lotion he'd spied laying in a cubby-hole beside the bed. "You want me like this?" he asked, slicking his own cock.

Thor swallowed and nodded, spreading his legs wider, easing under Loki. Their bodies came together; they were well-matched. When Loki pressed in, there was a moment of resistance, then delicious friction.

Loki's eyes narrowed to slits, savoring the blissful sensation. He tried a little thrust, and then another. Beneath him, Thor released a deep breath with a soft moan behind it. Bracing himself over Thor, Loki drove in harder, lost in the sensations. The bed creaked a little, bumping against the wall, making them both chuckle nervously at the sound and the realization of how impassioned their coupling had become. Thor grasped Loki's shoulders and strove to meet him.

Jane's hand lotion rolled off and fell under the bed, forgotten.

It only took a few thrusts before Loki could hold back no longer. His breath hitched, then became pants, and then he was moaning as he came. He slumped over Thor, pressing his face to Thor's chest, conscious of the hardness pressed between them.

Thor shifted so that Loki lay by his side, pressing himself against Loki's buttocks. Chuckling low in his throat, Loki said, "I mounted you already. Reciprocation is fair."

In an instant, Loki's male form shifted, and his female form lay beside Thor. Stiffening, Thor sat up a little. "You wish to couple with me as a woman?" he asked Loki.

Writhing under him, she brushed her fingertips across the powerful span of his shoulders. "Loki is always Loki. This form is as much Loki as the other."

Thor tentatively cupped a breast in his hand. Full and warm and soft, as beautiful as the rest of her body, and he flicked his tongue over a nipple even as his fingers sought her clit. Wet and ready for him, and Thor grew even harder, something he would've sworn was impossible but moments before. Positioning himself beside her, Thor lifted Loki's leg and pushed in, Loki's hand helping to guide him to her. Thor's arms locked around her body, holding her tightly, securely. A hand cupped her cheek, and Loki turned her head so she could catch his fingers in her mouth, lavishing them with her tongue, sucking at them as he pounded into her.

Loki was so slick that Thor's thrusts were almost frictionless. Thor lost himself in the feeling of _hot tight wet_. It was as if a key turned in a lock, and Thor shouted Loki's name as he came, spilling into her.

Thor clung to her through the aftershocks, kissing her neck, winding his fingers through her hair. Loki lay content in his arms, drowsy and sated.

Thor kissed Loki on her eyelids, then pulled away regretfully. "I must be going to be the bathing room and cleaning myself," he said, picking up the towel as he stood. Loki smiled fondly at that towel; it had served them well.

"I'll miss you," murmured Loki as Thor walked to the tiny bathroom. A loud rapping at the door roused her from her reverie; shifting back into male form and shrugging into his clothes, Loki opened the RV door and found Darcy peering up at him curiously.

"Are you guys all right?" she asked, giving him a knowing look. "The RV was rocking back and forth."

Loki cleared his throat. "All is well, I assure you."

"Yeah, okay, doc and Erik may be too gay for science to pay attention to anything else, but I know something's up. You and blondie an item now?"

Loki sat on the bottom step of the RV, Darcy kneeling beside him. "I hadn't thought of it in such a way," he said softly. "But that would be fair to say, yes."

"Have you guys known each other long?" Darcy asked, blowing a bubble with her gum.

"I suppose you could say I've known him all my life," said Loki. "Though I could never have imagined our shared fates would bring us... here." He gestured vaguely at the New Mexico horizon.

Darcy nodded sagely. "Tell me about it. All I wanted was six college credits."

The RV's door creaked open a crack. "Loki?" asked Thor, peeking out.

"I'll be right there," Loki told him, standing up.

"Hey," said Darcy, flicking her head at Thor. "He wouldn't have a gorgeous blond brother, would he? Who's single? And heterosexual?"

"You guys!" Jane's voice rang out as she ran towards the RV, clutching a pair of binoculars in her hands. "Look up at the sky! Something strange is happening!"

"What?" Loki walked towards her, while Thor stepped out of the RV, clad once again only in a pair of well-worn jeans. Pressing the binoculars into Loki's hands, Jane directed his gaze in a southeasternly direction.

"What is it, Loki?" asked Thor, hovering over his shoulder. "Is it one of ours? The Asgardians come to return us home?"

Loki stared through the binoculars, slack-jawed. In the distance he could see a swirling blue whirlpool erupting from the sky, a fissure in space-time itself. Someone was opening a door between worlds.

"It's not one of yours," Loki said, lowering the binoculars and turning to face Thor. "It's one of mine."

Loki flung the binoculars at Jane, then grabbed Thor by the shoulders and hissed, "We have to get out of here. Or I have to get out of here, away from the mortals. They'll be killed instantly."

"What's going on?" demanded Jane, her eyes wide and frightened.

Not even waiting for Thor's response, Loki turned to her. "Do you have a vehicle that will work?" he asked. His skin had become as pale as marble, and his green eyes seemed fever-bright.

"No, the head gasket should be fixed in the morning-"

"Not soon enough." Loki caught her and Darcy by the elbows and began pulling them towards their base in the old Smith Motors building. "Get as far from here as possible. I will ride the bicycle into the desert as far as I can before Byleistr catches up with me."

"Who?" asked Darcy.

"Loki, wait!" Thor ran after them. "What are you doing? Who is Byleistr?"

"My brother," said Loki in clipped tones. "Come to kill me."

Darcy took her gum from her mouth and tossed it in a trash can. "For real? Why?"

"If he's here, that means Laufey is dead. If Laufey is dead, that means Helblindi has seized power and _that_ means my time is _up_," Loki screamed.

"What in the world is going on here-" Erik said as he ran over, but Thor held up a hand, beckoning for silence.

"Loki, explain once more and more slowly," Thor said. "I will stand with you against any foes, but I must know what we are up against. Who are Byleistr and Helblindi?"

"My brothers."

"Why would they want you dead?"

Loki's eyes clenched shut. "Because I am Laufey's firsborn. If he is dead, then I am next in line to the throne. Helblindi will not stand for any challengers. He will kill me, and you, and then march to the gates of Asgard itself." When he opened his eyes again, they welled with tears.

"How did they find you?" Thor wondered, resting a hand on Loki's shoulder. Unconsciously, Loki sagged against him.

"My magicks. Helblindi is the second-most sorcerer in all of Jotunheim. He can trace my magicks, and he will find me wherever I go."

"Who is the first sorcerer in all of Jotunheim?" Thor asked.

"I am." Loki pulled back from him, gesturing at the three curious humans. "We are wasting precious time. I have to get away from the mortals before Byleistr tracks me here."

"Hey look, if someone's trying to kill you," Darcy said, pulling a taser from her purse.

"Yeah, we're not going to let someone walk up and murder you," Jane told Loki. "We'll call the cops, take you someplace safe..."

"Your concern is touching," Loki told them. "But my brother Byleistr is a Jotun, a Frost Giant. He stands three times your size, and his merest touch will necrotize your flesh. Your only hope is to get as far from me as you can."

Thor set his jaw and said, "I will stay by your side, Loki."

Loki couldn't stop himself from smiling at the poor fool. "Thor, you have not your powers," he said. "And you if are killed alongside me, who will remain to seek revenge for my death?"

"_LOKI_", came a roar in the distance, so loud that Jane and Darcy screamed with fear and Erik almost toppled over. The single word was followed by a growl, deep and forboding, that rattled their very bones. Nothing on Earth could make such a sound. Nothing from Earth.

"Too late," gasped Loki. "He's found me."

The pounding sounds were so loud that at first they sounded like the crack of thunder, and it was some moments before Darcy realized what they were: footsteps. "Oh my god," she cried, grabbing hold of Jane. "This is for real-real, not for play-play."

"Get them to safety," Loki told Thor as he ran towards the approaching footsteps.

"What are you doing?" Thor called after him.

"Reasoning with my brother," Loki replied. He ran behind the Smith Motors building, out to where the town faded into the sands of the desert, and sure enough, he could see Byleistr ambling towards him. Poor Byleistr, always so misshappen. If Loki was a runt, Byleistr was some throwback, with his protruding jaw and arms so long he could walk on four legs as well as two.

Spotting his brother, Byleistr grinned horribly and loped towards him, dropping to all fours. Loki braced himself and called out, "Still doing our brother's dirty work, are we?"

Byleistr skidded to a stop, startled from his mission. One thing about Byleistr: he was easily distracted. "What do you m-mean?" he stammered in his raspy voice. He circled Loki warily, backing up until his foot bumped the rear wall of Smith Motors.

Loki locked his hands behind his back, leaning back on his heels cavalierly. "Ever since we were younglings, you've jumped at his every command. Does it not bother you to be more Helblindi's pet than brother?"

"I d-don't like your words," growled Byleistr, clutching at his head as though it hurt. "You always l-like to t-talk and talk and make me confused. Sire said not to listen to you."

"Ah, but Sire is dead, is he not? Helblindi's doing, I presume." Loki's eyebrows shot up. "Unless Helblindi put you up to that murder, too?"

Byleistr _barked_ at him, a sure sign that Loki's words had hit their mark as an arrow slips past a chink in armor and pierces flesh. Seizing his chance before Byleistr could remember his mission to brutally murder him, Loki said, "Once I am dead, Helblindi will have no more use for you. He'll kill you then. In my kingdom, there would always be a place for you."

"Shut up," Byleistr rasped, and quick as lightning - for if Byleistr had one talent, it was quickness - he reached out and caught Loki by the throat, lifting him into the air. Loki dangled, his feet kicking uselessly, his fingers clutching at Byleistr's hand, struggling to breathe.

Byleistr drew him closer, and for one horrible second Loki thought his brother meant to eat him alive. "You s-smell different, brother," Byleistr rasped, and then Thor was upon him, swinging a length of metal piping like a hammer.

BAM! It connected solidly with the back of Byleistr's skull. Screeching, Byleistr dropped Loki ten feet to the ground. BAM! Thor managed a second swing, and this time something in Byleistr's skull gave way with a sickening, wet crack.

"ARRRRGH!" Byleistr's paw swung overhead, and Thor narrowly missed decapitation. "Asgardian! Y-you!"

Thor rolled off Byleistr's back, dropping his steel pipe as he did so. Byleistr was staggering, clutching at the back of his head, dragging one foot behind him. His moans were the moans of some dumb beast that could not comprehend its own pain.

Loki climbed to his feet, one hand around his neck, the other held out to cast a spell. He gasped out an incantation. Instantly, flames erupted under Byleistr, and a note of panic and horror joined the moans. The sand under Byleistr's feet melted into a sinkhole.

"Getting a little hot, isn't it, brother?" Loki croaked at Byleistr as the inferno engulfed him, his red eyes rolling in their sockets. Thor ran to Loki, grabbing him around the waist and bodily hauling him away.

Summoning all his strength, Byleistr lurched at them, catching Thor in a glancing blow, sending them both sprawling. For a moment Loki didn't know if he faced up or down, backwards or forwards; all he could see was sparks in his vision and all he could feel was the sand in his mouth. Crawling to his knees, he clutched at Thor, who lay unconscious with blood seeping from his scalp. Only a few feet away, Byleistr thrashed wildly in his death throes.

"Please," the word was more of a puff of air through Loki's abused throat as he struggled to drag Thor away from his brother's still deadly claws. "Please. Don't die. Don't leave me here."

"LOKI! THOR!" Dimly, through the haze in his vision, Loki could make out Darcy running towards him, followed by Jane and a figure that must be Erik. He tried to call out, to warn them to stay away; all Byleistr need do was breathe on them and they would die. But the humans were on him and Thor, trying with all their might to tug him and Thor to safety, and then Loki lost a few seconds, and when he came to, he could still hear Byleistr's screams, then the crack of gunshots and the wail of a fire engine. Then a strange man was leaning over him, trying to speak with him, and Loki slipped into darkness and did not dream.

* * *

><p>Jane crouched on the ground, hands wrapped around her knees. The firefighters hovered over Thor and Loki, tending to their wounds, despite Darcy's loud pleas to be allowed to check on them herself. Erik was stumbling around, dazed, with the wide-eyed shock of a man who has seen something not of this Earth.<p>

Both of Puente Antiguo's cops had arrived and pumped several rounds of amunition into the hideous monster that Loki had called his "brother" until it finally stopped writhing. Now its body was covered by a tarp, only a single horrible arm sticking out, outstretched, black claws gleaming in the sunlight. Jane shivered and pulled her legs close enough that she could rest her chin on her knees.

Several black cars pulled up, and a familiar man stepped out of one of them. The SHIELD agent who had commandeered her research. Jane stared at him glumly.

Agent Coulson took in the dead monster, the two unconscious men, and the shell-shocked humans. "Get Fury on the phone," he commanded one of his subordinates. "Get Tony Stark. Get anyone."


	6. Chapter 6

_ Asgard_

Golden light poured through a high arched window, illuminating the four warriors. Sif and Hogun sat back-to-back, Sif's brows furrowed and lips set in a hard line, Hogun's expression more peaceful but still tense. Fandral whittled arrows, busy work to keep his hands occupied. And Volstagg stared gloomily at his tankard, finding even ale had lost its flavor.

"Do you think the All-Father will ever awaken?" Sif asked aloud.

"The Odinsleep has never lasted so long before," said Fandral. "The queen fears he may never wake."

"If only Thor were here-" moaned Volstagg, wiping at the corner of his eye.

Hogun sighed deeply. "The All-Father himself banished Thor and Loki. Now he is unable to recall them, and it would seem they have yet to prove themselves worthy to return on their own."

Life in Asgard had been dreary since Thor and Loki's banishment. Sif missed the roar of Thor's laughter, his encouraging words, his bravery. She even found herself missing Loki a little, for although he had been a troublemaker she suspected he was filled with not so much malice as mischief. And now with Odin so far gone, and like to never see his son again...

"It's not right!" Sif shouted, slamming a fist down in frustration. "We have stood beside Thor in battle! We have shared his pain and we have shared his victories. We should be with him now, when he suffers most."

"Banishing Thor 'twas the All-Father's last deed," said Fandral, setting aside his arrows. "We cannot undo what Odin has done, and besides, Heimdall would never allow Thor back into Asgard without Odin's permission..."

The door swung open, and two tremendously tall and grim guards glowered at them. "Heimdall requests your presence," they said in unison.

Sif and the Warriors Three turned to look at one another nervously. "Heimdall heard us," said Volstagg in what he thought was a much softer whisper than it was.

Hogun made a swift gesture for silence, then stood, nodded to the guards, then began following them to the Bifrost. After a moment's hesitation, his companions fell into step with him.

When they stood before Heimdall, his strange golden eyes fixed them to the spot, making even Sif, who was his own half-sister, hang her head. "Would you stand beside Thor even now, in the time of his exile?" Heimdall asked.

Volstagg swallowed hard, but said, "Yes," followed by three more affirmative replies.

Heimdall crossed his arms. "As guardian of Asgard, I am sworn to defend it against all foes. By my oath to Odin, our king, none may pass without his permission. Never has an enemy escaped my sight. However, I need no permission to send others from Asgard."

Sif's face lit up. "You would send us to Midgard?"

"Thor and Loki's lives are in grave danger," said Heimdall sternly. "Thor is but a mortal, and Loki's magick is weakening. If you will go and defend them, I would send you."

"Of course we'll go-" cried a chorus of voices, but Heimdall raised a hand for silence.

"If your return threatens Asgard, you will not be permitted to cross the Bifrost," he told them. "You will be stranded on Midgard, as Thor and Loki are. What say you?"

Sif held herself very straight. "We will go, Heimdall."

Heimdall hefted his sword. "Then go," he said, and activated the rainbow bridge.

_Jotunheim_

Helblindi growled low in his throat. He had not expected Thor and Loki to kill Byleistr so easily; well, mayhap he should be thankful they had done away with the fool and saved him the trouble.

Loki had to die. All Jotunheim was in mourning for its fallen king, and if Loki died as well, that would be the spark Helblindi needed to light the tinder of their discontent with Asgard. Warsongs begged to be sung. There was history to be written. And who was one troublesome runty sibling to stand in his way?

"If you want something done right," Helblindi grumbled, and began to work another enchantment.

_Midgard_

Loki jerked awake, and finding himself subsumed in white - white sheets, white walls, white ceiling - thrashed until the sheets fell off him and he could sit up on the narrow bed. His neck _throbbed_. Byleistr had nearly strangled him after all.

"Ah, you're up." A human in a white coat sat across from him, pouring over a thick stack of papers. "That's very good, I have a lot of questions for you."

"Where am I?" Loki hissed.

"The county hospital." The human peered at him from under an impressive set of bushy eyebrows. "It's just past 3 in the afternoon. You and your friend have been unconscious for about five hours now."

"Five hours!"

"Yes, well, you took quite a beating, I'm told." The human stood up and offered his hand. "Dr. Raymond Taylor."

Loki regarded the offered hand coolly.

"Okay," sighed Dr. Taylor. "All right, if you don't mind, before I have to turn you over to those G-Men outside, I'd like to ask you some questions. Just where _do_ you come from, son?"

Loki turned to face the wall sullenly. How dare this mortal pry into his origins? Loki had just barely survived a battle with his own brother, a brother who was now dead, and whose body was probably in the hands of those, those 'G-Men' persons he'd encountered at the Mjolnir site. Loki felt too weak to fight, but was in no mood to cooperate.

The doctor droned on despite Loki's determined silence. "I gotta say, your results are amazing. And I don't use that word often, pal. We ran blood work, an ultrasound, a few x-rays, got a couple of tissue samples to test for the G-Men, and you're not even _remotely_ human. Now I've had a few mutants come into this hospital. Underneath the skin, they're still human, no matter what they look like. But you, you are something else entirely. My colleague Dr. Ramirez says your blond friend is the same way, he's got some interesting results back on him, too."

"Where is Thor," Loki said from between gritted teeth.

"Your friend, Thor, he's still unconscious right now. He took a good blow to the head, you know. Don't worry, he's in Dr. Ramirez's capable hands."

Someone rapped loudly on the door. Dr. Taylor grunted to himself. "All right then, our time is up. Someone a lot scarier than me wants to talk to you." He tossed a folder to Loki as he turned to leave. "Oh, and congratulations, you're pregnant."

"I'm _what_," gasped Loki as he stared at the odd pieces of paper the doctor had handed him. It took him a moment to recognize one of the images at his abdomen, presumably taken to ascertain the extent of his injuries, and the small shape tucked in amongst his internal organs.

"I could be wrong," mused Dr. Taylor as he reached for the door handle. "But if I am, then I'd _love_ to know where that fetal heartbeat is coming from. Craziest thing I've seen in my life. We took one ultrasound right after you arrived, and then another about an hour ago. It's grown in that span of time. I say by this rate you'll be full-term in about..."

"Six of your weeks," whispered Loki.

Dr. Taylor scratched at his beard thoughtfully. "That about normal for whatever you are?"

"About normal," admitted Loki. He pressed the ultrasound to his chest, too overcome to even speak further. His mind whirled in so many directions at once that he couldn't even tell how he _felt_ about this. How would he tell Thor - how could he fight Helblindi like this - how could he fight Helblindi at all - a baby -

The rapping at the door returned, louder and more insistent. Dr. Taylor smiled at him and said, "Good luck with the men in black. And I'll get the nurses to send some flowers up for you." Then he opened the door, and Agent Coulson stepped in as the doctor stepped out.

* * *

><p>Today was the longest day Phil Coulson had experienced in a long while.<p>

He had dealt with a lot of strange things in his day, but hideous monster corpses were a new one. The police officer who had turned the body over to SHIELD had held up a shotgun shell and calmly told Coulson, "This shell could blow your arm off. That thing took nine of them to the face before it stopped moving."

As soon as he'd gotten a look at the two 'rogues' Coulson had groaned. There was no mistaking the dark-haired fellow who'd somehow hypnotized the entire SHIELD base into letting him and his tall, blond, and built friend waltz through the front gate. Since they were clearly too powerful to control, Coulson decided to handle this an entirely different way. He needed answers, and he needed help, and in all likelihood these 'rogues' were the only ones who could provide either, so it was time to deal with them a little more gently.

While waiting for them to come to, Coulson had debriefed their civilian companions.

"Their names are Thor and Loki," said Miss Lewis. "And you still have my iPod. I'd appreciate having it back."

"Where are they from?" Miss Foster repeated his question. "I'd know by now if you hadn't stolen my research!"

"I don't know if he's really a god of thunder," admitted Dr. Selvig. "But he ought to be."

At 1516 hours, Coulson got word that the rogue known as 'Loki' had awoken and was being seen by his physician. As he approached Loki's hospital room, Agent Barton fell into step behind him.

"Where are the civilians?" Coulson asked him.

"In the waiting room. Dr. Ramirez says he's gonna try waking Sleeping Beauty here in a few minutes. I figured it'd be good to have them on hand."

It bothered Coulson to bring civilian scientists into this, but they badly needed Thor and Loki to cooperate, and so far the only people they had proved cooperative with were astrophysicists Selvig and Foster, and Miss Lewis. He rapped on the door to Loki's hospital room before turning to face Barton. "You aren't watching them?"

"Agent Peters has 'em covered." Barton gave him a cocky sideways grin. "I wouldn't miss this for the world, sir."

After knocking a second time, the door finally opened and Dr. Taylor gave Coulson a friendly smile and a mock salute. "Best of luck," he said as he took off down the hall. "You'll need it."

Loki still crouched on the rumpled hospital bed, clutching a folder to his chest, wearing hospital-issued sweats and a t-shirt. When he saw Coulson, he climbed to his feet, and Coulson balked a little when he realized the man was almost a head taller than him in his bare feet. "You will take me to Thor at once," Loki said imperiously. "And where are the mortals we have befriended? Are they injured?"

Coulson smiled at him. "Darcy, Erik, and Jane are all fine. They're here, in fact, waiting to see you. Thor will see you too, as soon as he awakens."

"I will see him now." Loki pushed past Coulson and walked out into the hall. Seeing Barton, he looked down at him with all the disdain of a true aristocrat and said, "You! You will take me to Thor. I will awaken him myself."

"Whoa, whoa," Barton chanted, but Loki stormed past him, striding with great purpose in the general direction of wherever he thought Thor might be. Coulson and Barton jogged after him, determined to keep the situation as low-key as possible.

"_Thor!_" Loki called. "Thor! I'm here! I'll find you!"

* * *

><p><em>Thor!<em>

The darkness roiled in front of his eyes, and in his dreamless sleep Thor Odinsson struggled. His arms and legs were as stone, his eyesight a blur, and his hearing dim. Loki... Loki was calling to him... Loki needed him...

_Thor! I'm here!_

"Loki..." he moaned.

"Thor!"

His hand flew up, blocking the glare of the overhead light. Thor rolled to his side, feeling sensation return to his limbs. A stranger in a white coat cautiously approached him.

"Now, now," said the stranger. "I'm your doctor. Just be still."

"Loki," Thor gasped out, and he could hear Loki's voice now, faint and far away, but undeniably Loki, calling out to him. Setting his feet on the floor, he moved for the door. A hospital orderly ran up and tried to hold him down, only for Thor to send him flying against the wall. "How dare you lay hands on the Odinsson!" Thor roared.

Even as two more orderlies prepared to pounce, the door flew open and there stood Loki, flanked on either side by two men in dark suits, one of whom Thor belatedly recognized as Son of Coul from the other day.

"There you are!" said Loki.

"Stand back," Son of Coul told the hospital staff. "Keep calm, let them talk. I'll handle everything."

Thor slid to his knees and clasped his arms around Loki's waist, burying his face against Loki's abdomen. "You're alive," he said, and tears pricked at his eyes. "You're alive and unharmed." He looked up at Loki anxiously. "Our friends, are they-?"

"Jane, Darcy, and Erik are alive and well," Loki assured him, stroking his hands through Thor's hair. "Or so these men have told me." He glared at Son of Coul and his companion.

Son of Coul stepped forward. "Agent Phil Coulson," he said, as though Thor might've forgotten him. "This is my associate, Agent Barton. We work for SHIELD. We're the good guys."

"You will release us at once," Thor told him, standing up but staying close to Loki.

"You're not being held captive," said Son of Coul. "If we can, we'd like to help you."

"You could begin by restoring our friends' belongings," Loki snapped at him. "The ones you so rudely stole from them!"

"That will be done, I'll see to it," Son of Coul vowed solemnly. "Please, just let us talk to you, help us understand what happened here earlier today. Where are you from? Is it the same place that dead monster came from?"

"That monster," Loki said, his upper lip curling, "was my baby brother."

"Your... brother," said Son of Coul slowly. After taking a moment to contemplate that, he asked, "Are there more of your kind? Are they coming here?"

"You're wasting time," Loki told him. He grasped Thor by the upper arm, staring at him imploringly. "Helblindi must know by now that Byleistr has failed. He will surely come to finish the deed himself."

"Will he bring other Frost Giants?" asked Thor.

Loki shook his head. "I think not. It must look as though it's Odin's fault for banishing us from Asgard, else he has little pretext for war. Helblindi has been a warmonger since he was a suckling."

"Frost Giants," said Son of Coul, "is that what you are? Are all Frost Giants as big as your... baby brother?"

"Oh, we come much bigger," Loki told him.

* * *

><p>"Hey guys!" Darcy called out to them as Coulson and Barton escorted Thor and Loki to the waiting room. Startling at Darcy's voice, Jane and Erik looked up from a notebook they were scribbling in and jumped to their feet to greet the pair as well.<p>

"Ah, you are safe and well!" Thor's smile was blinding in its intensity.

"Good to see you too, big guy," Erik told him, giving Thor a pat on the shoulder. "You had us worried there for awhile."

"What you did was very brave," Thor told them. "It takes much more than mere bravado to run onto a field of battle to rescue your friends from a Frost Giant. Loki and I owe you our lives."

"More than just _our_ lives," Loki murmured gently, pressing the folder he carried with him into Thor's hands. Thor gave him a curious look then peered down at the images.

Darcy bounded up to Loki. "So while you were out cold I picked you up something." She handed him a small iPod, complete with headphones. "It's just a cheapie thing, but I borrowed a laptop from one of the SHIELD guys and preloaded it with all of Evanescence's albums. Even the Christian rock stuff they did early on."

Loki stared at the iPod, speechless, then rested a hand on Darcy's shoulder, squeezing gently.

"Okay, everyone," said Agent Coulson, stepping up. "We need to leave the hospital. According to Thor and Loki, their lives are still in danger so we need to get them as far from a populated area as possible. Dr. Foster, your research will be returned to you promptly-"

"Oh, yes!" cried Jane.

Thor barely heard anything Coulson was saying. He turned the images this way and that, trying to make sense of what Loki was trying to show him. "What am I to see here?" he asked, looking up at Loki wonderingly.

Loki pointed one black fingernail at a spot on the image that Thor could've sworn was no more than a mere smudge. "Right here, there it is," Loki said, his voice low and comforting. "I-I don't know how your people explain these things. I only just found out myself about twenty minutes ago." He smiled ruefully at Thor. "But that there, it's our baby..."

"Our _baby_," yelled Thor, and the images went sliding from his hands in shock, flying about like confetti.

"A... baby?" Jane blinked in confusion.

"A baby." Coulson's voice was flat.

"A baby!" crowed Darcy.

Loki fell to his knees, gathering the images into his lap, frantically searching for the one that showed the tiny creature that he and Thor had created. "Why yes, it's very small but it's- Thor!" And Thor collapsed beside him on his bottom, his eyes looking this way and that, too shocked to be happy.

Thor stared at Loki. "Our baby?" he asked.

"Yes," Loki told him.

Thor pulled him into a crushing hug, scattering Loki's lapful of images to and fro once again. He covered Loki's face with a dozen kisses, a hundred kisses, so many kisses that Loki lost count. They sat that way on the waiting room floor for some moments, Loki cradled in Thor's arms, a folder of sonogram images spilling this way and that.

Agent Coulson cleared his throat and looked down at Loki and Thor with the beleagured expression of a parent beset with naughty children. "May I ask what this baby business is about?"

Loki pulled himself from Thor's arms and drew up to his full height. "I suppose you think every species is like your own," he said. "But make no mistake about it, I am with child, and the heir to two realms grows inside me. And you may think me a monster, but my people were ancient when your ancestors still had tails and fur coats." He flung a sonogram image at Coulson. "This should be proof enough."

"Now, now, Loki," Thor soothed as he stood up and clasped his arms around Loki from behind. "He's just confused, as any human might be. Take not offense!"

"Waitaminute," Darcy said, a look of horror dawning on her face. "How's it supposed to come _out_?"

Loki sniffed. "I could change back to Jotun form, but I fear my skin might injure an Asgardian child during birth," he said. "So I will change into female form instead." And right there he shifted into his voluptuous female form, dark hair spilling down his shoulders, Thor's arms still embracing her tightly.

Jane and Erik gasped aloud. Loki's transformation actually made Coulson drop the sonogram he was studying. But Agent Barton simply gave Loki a once over, then turned to Thor and said, very seriously, "You are a lucky, lucky man."

Coulson took a moment to take this all in, then recovered with admirable presence. "All right, let's get everyone moving," he said, waving Thor and Loki down the hallway, the three humans following behind and Barton taking up the rear. "We've got a couple of vehicles waiting outside. One will take Selvig and Foster, along with Miss Lewis, back to their base of operations, and the other will transport myself, Agent Barton, Thor and Loki."

"Oh, damn," Darcy groaned. She threw an arm around Loki's waist and gave her a quick hug. "Good luck. And congrats."

"Thank you," Loki told her. Remaining in her female form, she shifted into a green outfit complete with sweeping cape, and tucked the iPod Darcy had given her into a hidden pocket.

"Any response from Fury? What about Stark?" Coulson asked Barton as they ushered the three civilians, Thor, and Loki out a back door where the vehicles were waiting.

"Negative and negative," replied Barton. "Fury's been out of contact for fifty-six hours now, and Stark's last known position was Ibiza, which means that the odds of getting his attention are..."

"...Not good," sighed Coulson. "All right, get me the governor of New Mexico on the phone. If we've got an extradimensional monster to fight, we'll call in an airstrike on the damn thing."

Barton reached for his phone, but when he held it to his ear the crackle of static made him curse and almost drop it. "The atmospheric interference is getting worse," he told Coulson. "The tech guys have barely been in radio contact for the past hour, and now the cell reception is-"

And as they walked through the hospital doors and looked up, the small group saw the heavens roiling above them, brilliant lights that flashed and blinded the eye. But although the humans shrank back, frightened, remembering Byleistr's attack, Thor ran forward, his laughter a roar, calling out, "My friends!"


	7. Chapter 7

Sif and the Warriors three stood in a ring of glyphs the middle of the parking lot. They looked about curiously, taking in the asphalt and the tall blocky buildings, the sunlight gleaming off their armor. Seeing Thor, they all waved madly and Volstagg called out "Found you!"

Thor ran up, gathering all four into his arms. "How I have longed to see you!" he said, pulling them into a crushing hug. "But what are you doing here? Have you been sent to bring us home?"

"Alas, no," Sif told him when released from his powerful embrace. "Heimdall sent us to save your lives."

"Are you mortal still?" Hogun asked, and when Thor nodded yes, his companions all looked stricken.

"Never fear!" Volstagg braced his hands on his hips, readying himself for a magnificent speech. "We have not abandoned you, Thor! We, the Warriors Three, joined by the incomparable Lady Sif, have journeyed across time and space to stand beside you in your hour of peril-"

"Thor," Coulson interrupted as he walked up behind them, "who are these people?"

Loki, who was a step or two behind Coulson, answered for Thor. "Volstagg. Fandral. Hogun. And Sif," she said drily, pointing to each in turn.

"Ah, a familiar face," said Fandral, smiling at Loki. "Has Earth changed you, milady?"

"You have no idea," Loki said, snapping her cape around her.

"And who is this lovely vision?" Fandral asked, spying Darcy peeking at him from behind Loki. "Thor, you must introduce us to your Midgardian friends."

"Of course!" Thor beamed. "Fandral, meet Darcy..."

Fandral dropped a courtly bow and kissed her hand. Darcy giggled. "Hi."

"Lady Sif, meet Doctor Jane..."

Sif towered over Jane. Nodding her head, Sif clasped Jane's small hand in her much bigger, more powerful one. "My pleasure, doctor."

Jane giggled. "_Hi_."

"And Volstagg and Hogun, this is Erik, a scientist, and Son of Coul, a warrior for SHIELD, guardians of this realm." Thor seemed greatly pleased at seeing his old battle companions again. Coulson eyed them with some trepidation, mentally calculating the difficulty of managing the fallout of four additional extradimensional warriors in what was already a highly unstable situation, while Barton simply stepped up and introduced himself.

"All right," said Coulson, trying to take control of the situation once more. "We still need to get as far from populated areas, including this hospital, as possible. Thor, Loki, you come with me." Pausing, he nodded at Hogun and Volstagg as well. "The both of you will ride with us."

"Okay, that means you're with me," Barton told the civilians. Unclipping a set of keys from his belt, he climbed into the driver's side door of the sleek black government-issued truck. Erik sat shotgun next to him, while Sif and Fandral took the back seat, with Jane and Darcy wedged between them.

"This is so boss," Darcy said, grinning up at Fandral.

"Yeah," said Jane dreamily, her eyes still locked with Sif's.

Volstagg, however, was troubled. "Should we allow the mortals to seperate us?" he asked Thor as they approached the other vehicle. "Surely t'would be safest to face a threat united!"

"Aye," Thor said, but he encouraged Volstagg to climb into the vehicle regardless. "But we must not put the mortals into danger. Loki's evil brother Helblindi will follow us wherever we go, and we must not lead him here. Once they are safe, we will be reunited."

Loki sat next to Thor and clung to his arm, her breathing unusually shaky, her eyes downcast. Thor shifted closer to her, his lips brushing her ear. "Be not afraid," he whispered. "I am beside you. I will let nothing harm you."

"That is what I fear," said Loki, her voice cracking, "that you will be killed trying to defend me."

* * *

><p>The two vehicles made it out of the hospital without much incident, and were nearing the proverbial 'fork in the road'; the county line road, where left led out towards SHIELD's base in the desert (near where Coulson planned to transport Thor and Loki), and where right led back into Puente Antiguo and Jane Foster's base-of-operations at the Smith Motors building.<p>

Coulson grimaced at the insane crackling of static on his cell phone, but finally managed to get into contact with Agent Barton via the vehicle's inbuilt short-distance radio communications device. "What's your status?" Coulson asked.

Aside from the overwhelming levels of sexual tension radiating from the back seat, Barton couldn't think of anything that was wrong. "Still got all our fingers and toes," Barton replied. "We stayin' in ranger file until we reach the county line, or-"

Barton's reflexes saved him. His keen eyes spotted the shadow cast long before the actual weapon came into view. He slammed on the brakes so hard that the seat belts locked up. A moment later, a tremendous ice-mace split the pavement directly in front of the vehicle's bumper with a mighty CRACK like the sound of the world breaking in two.

In the back seat, Darcy shrieked. Cursing, Fandral fought to open his door, while Lady Sif cooly kicked her door off its hinges and stepped out to face Helblindi, hefting her spear and readying for battle.

"Reverse, reverse!" Erik cried, shaking Barton by the shoulder. Fandral's door finally popped open and he stepped out as well, Darcy screaming for him to be careful.

Helblindi ambled out from his hiding place between two storage sheds, grunting as he lifted the ice-mace; it was the height of a man, one-fourth his own size, so heavy it could crush a human or shatter an Asgardian's bones. "LOKI!" he roared. "I can SMELL you! I know you're here!"

Fifty meters or so in front of Helblindi, Coulson's vehicle screeched to a halt, its occupants twisting anxiously in their seats to see what had happened to their companions. Loki's sharp intake of breath was audible. "My brother," she whispered. Thor grabbed for her, but Loki opened her door and stepped out, shifting back into Jotun form as he did so. His iPod was left behind on his seat.

"I'm the one you're looking for!" Loki called out. That caught Helblindi's attention. He swung around, smiling toothily at Loki. Kicking a shattered piece of ice at Helblindi, Loki slowly walked towards his brother. "Leave the humans alone," he said. "Leave them out of this. I'm the one you want."

"Ah, you've chosen to wear your true face!" Helblindi said, sounding almost proud. Loki shuddered, a memory coming to mind, unbidden: five or more centuries ago, Helblindi snatching him up and shaking him as a predator shakes its prey, to snap its neck, Byleistr sobbing and begging him to stop, looking about fearfully for Laufey. Sure enough, Laufey had happened upon them, and a stern cuff from their sire had made Helblindi drop Loki, saved Loki for that day. But now Laufey and Byleistr were both dead, and there was only Helblindi and Loki left.

Behind Helblindi, Loki could see Fandral and Sif flanking Helblindi, waiting for a moment to strike. Though he dared not look behind him, he hoped Volstagg and Hogun were restraining Thor, keeping him from charging headfirst into certain death. In his Jotun form, Loki had the best chance of any of them of surviving a fight to the death with Helblindi.

While Loki and Helblindi spoke, Barton cautiously put his vehicle into reverse, slowly backing up, trying not to rev the engine and attract the monster's attention. He glanced over at Erik, who was white-knuckling his seat, not taking his eyes off the gigantic monster. "My bow," said Barton.

"Wh-what?" Erik mumbled, eyes flickering over to him.

"Under your seat. There's a case with my bow." Barton glanced in the rear-view mirror to see Jane and Darcy clutching each other. "Pull it out. I'm gonna park this thing. You get the girls to safety."

With every exhale, Loki murmured an enchantment, trying to call on whatever magicks were left to him after all these days on Earth. His heart pounded in his chest, joined by the much tinier heart hidden below.

Helblindi took a step closer, so large he almost seemed to bear the sky on his shoulders. "You reek, big brother," he said. "You smell like the Asgardians, their stench pouring from your body." And then he launched himself forward, his ice-mace swinging down down down, even as Sif drove her spear through the back of his knee.

Helblindi roared, his pounce turning into a tumble as he twisted in midair, trying to pull the spear from his flesh. Fandral was on him in a moment, cutting him here and there, nimbly dancing out of the way as Helblindi's claws raked at him. Loki's enchantment caught him full in the face, momentarily blinding Helblindi; Sif took the opportunity to retrieve her spear, making Helblindi scream in pain.

But not for nothing was Helblindi the second-most sorcerer in all of Jotunheim. His vision had not returned before he cast an enchantment of his own, a powerful shockwave that sent Sif flying through the air and smashing into the windshield of Barton's vehicle, and Fandral sprawling almost twenty feet away, dazed.

The shockwave blew Loki off his feet, but he rolled with the impact, Helblindi's ice missiles slicing into the ground where he had been only seconds before. Staggering towards Loki on his injured leg, tripping on the crumbling pavement and the overgrown roadside weeds, Helblindi rubbed the yellow and black spots from his eyes. Jane and Erik pulled Sif from the cracked windshield, dragging her behind the vehicle, using it as best they could as a shield, while Barton climbed up one of the storage sheds, taking aim.

Noticing Fandral laying at his feet, struggling to lift his head, Helblindi savagely kicked at him. "Is this for whom you fight?" he yelled at Loki. Fandral cried out in agony. "These nasty, stinking freaks!"

"Leave him be!" Loki cried, but his hands trembled. He could summon no more magicks.

"I swear," said Helblindi, planting a foot on Fandral's chest, preparing to crush him, "it'll be worth killing you just to have an excuse to send them all to the underworld-" A burst of blue-white electricity ripped through Helblindi's injured leg. Howling in pain, he stumbled away from Fandral, turning this way and that trying to see who had attacked him.

Darcy dropped her taser in terror as Helblindi's eyes locked on her. When she had seen Helblindi kick Fandral, she had lept from the car and run towards them, desperate to save him. Jane, who cradled the semi-conscious Sif's head in her lap, cried out, "Darcy, run!"

"You, you-" Helblindi's breath smoked, but Darcy realized it wasn't smoke, but frost. He took a deep breath, and dimly she could hear Fandral moaning her name and Loki screaming it.

Before Helblindi could freeze Darcy with his breath, an arrow lodged itself in his trachea. Two bullets quickly followed it, and Volstagg and Hogun tackled his legs, sending him crashing to the ground. So frightened she could barely move, Darcy collapsed next to Fandral, clinging to him.

Coulson ran towards Darcy and Fandral, firing as he went. "Get back! Get back!" he yelled, putting himself between the girl and the monster, noticing with dismay that the bullets barely seemed to pierce the Frost Giant's flesh. Helblindi snapped off the arrow, then reached down and snatched up Hogun and Volstagg, one in each hand, sending them flying into the storage shed. The shed collapsed, taking Volstagg, Hogun, and Barton down with it.

Now it was Loki who attacked Helblindi, in a desperate rush - he saw Thor and Erik pulling Darcy and Fandral out of the way while Coulson laid down cover, and he knew that they'd all die the moment Helblindi's attention returned to them. He clambered up Helblindi, clawing at his belly, his neck, his face, trying to stab a nail into one of Helblindi's devilish eyes.

Helblindi grasped Loki by the neck and slammed him into the pavement with such force that the world went white.

The next thing Loki was aware of was the sheer pressure of his brother's massive bodyweight, four times that of his own, bearing down on top of him, crushing the life out of him. Helblindi's cold breath. And the blood gushing from the arrow wound in his neck. "You and all your _wretched_ little friends," Helblindi snarled, his face that of which nightmares are woven. "Why won't you just die, die, _die_-"

Loki jabbed his nail into the gaping wound. Helblindi choked above him as blood filled his throat, his mouth, his nose. Loki's lungs burned and he could feel his ribs bending, his bones struggling against the intense weight. Tears sprang to his eyes. _I can't let him kill Thor_, Loki thought. _He'll kill Thor - he'll kill them all-_

"_Loki_!" Thor. Loki's eyes looked to the side, and through the dust he could see Thor running towards him, arms reaching towards him. Reaching out to him. _Come to save me._

Loki stretched a hand out towards Thor.

The world around them quaked. For a second, Loki thought this must be what death was like - a sudden silence, followed by an intense noise that shook the very bones. But then Helblindi went flying off him, and Thor straddled him, a red cape caressing Loki's battered body.

Mjolnir. Thor had regained Mjolnir.

Loki was choking and writhing on the ground, so he did not see all of what happened next. There was thunder, and lightning; that he was sure of. And then Helblindi lay dead, and Thor was alive, sitting by his side, pulling him into an embrace, heedless of Loki's Jotun skin blackening his own. Belatedly, Loki managed to shift back to his Asgardian form.

"I almost lost you," Thor wept into his neck.

_And I you_, Loki mouthed to him.

Volstagg, Hogun, and Barton were, fortunately, more bruised than anything else as they climbed from the wreckage of the collapsed shed. Fandral felt well enough, cuddled against Darcy's voluptuous body, to joke that Volstagg's bulk had taken most of the impact, and Volstagg gave back as good as he got. Sif was on her feet again in minutes, one arm thrown across Jane's shoulders, although Jane was so tiny that try as she might, she couldn't possibly have supported much of Sif's weight. But she did try.

"So this is the real you," Coulson said. Thor still crouched upon the ground, Loki's head tucked under his chin. His blue eyes shone as he looked up.

"Aye, it is."

"You're everything I hoped you'd be," Coulson admitted softly. Barton staggered past them and silently offered a flask containing a suspicious liquid to Hogun. Hogun accepted just as silently.

SHIELD was crawling over the site by nightfall. Darcy and Fandral fell asleep in the backseat of Coulson's vehicle, while Sif, Hogun, and Volstagg regaled the other humans with tales of Thor's prowesss on Asgard. Coulson was finishing writing up a report when he got a message from Tony Stark.

_Hey, what'd I miss?_

Coulson let out a long-suffering sigh.

Loki sat on the tailgate of a SHIELD truck, legs swinging a little as Dr. Taylor took his vitals. Although Coulson had offered, Loki refused to return to the hospital; his neck had been half-crushed but would heal quickly. It was for the tiny thing inside him that he worried.

Thor hovered anxiously as Dr. Taylor listened for a fetal heartbeat. Now that he and Loki both wore their Asgardian regalia, Thor resplendent in a red cape and Loki elegant in his green cloak, they looked otherworldly.

"Well?"

Dr. Taylor smiled as he looked up, and Loki took his first deep breath in what felt like years. "Coming in loud and clear," he said, setting aside the odd little intrument and wiping the goo off Loki's belly.

Thor embraced Loki tightly. "We will be returned to Asgard now," he said, kissing Loki's forehead. "The dining halls, the forests, the warm sunlight... it will be a beautiful home for our child. You will be pampered..."

"I think not," Loki said, his brows arching. "Do you forget that I am now the rightful king of Jotunheim? No longer am I to be merely Thor Odinsson's consort. I have my own kingdom to secure, and I am not going to spend my reign confined to women's quarters with my feet propped up on a pillow."

"Jotunheim," Thor said slowly, as though this had just occured to him. "I suppose this means I am now consort to King Loki of Jotunheim?"

Loki chuckled, resting his cheek in the cup of Thor's hand. "I suppose so."

Thor's face fell, and he asked in a rush, "I know your kind do not marry... you will not abandon me for Jotunheim forever, will you?"

"After all that we have been through, you ask me if I am to abandon you now?" Loki was aghast. "You should have no fear of that. But be warned, it will not be an easy life as consort to King Loki."

"No," said Thor, "but it will never be boring." And he gave Loki a tender kiss on the lips.

"Oh, look at the time." Dr. Taylor checked his watch. "I gotta be going. Best of luck to you both. And hey, plenty of parents have balanced busy schedules with children. I'm sure you will, too." For a moment he seemed to be trying to salute Thor, but gave up and offered his hand to shake. Thor gave him a hearty shake and Loki gave him a grateful smile, and the doctor shuffled off.

Agent Coulson approached them as the doctor left. "Is everything all right?"

"Everything will be fine," Thor told him. "We are ready to return to Asgard, and from there to Jotunheim."

"If you can spare a few minutes," Coulson said, sitting on the tailgate next to Loki, with a computer perched on his lap, "I'd like to talk to you both about the Avengers initiative."

Nearby, Barton had finally finished his debrief, narrowly escaping death by papercut or a permanent cramp in his hand from signing thousands of signaturss, and went to join the Asgardian warriors. Hogun and Volstagg sat at a makeshift table, Volstagg happily devouring fast food one of the SHIELD agents had given him, Hogun folding the paper bag into tiny cranes. "Hey, where's Fandral and that Darcy girl?" Barton asked as he walked up.

Volstagg and Hogun exchanged a meaningful look.

"Oh, wow." Barton was impressed despite himself. "Sif and Jane?"

Another meaningful look.

"You're kidding!" Barton cursed the cruel fates that had caused him to miss that to fill out paperwork. He slumped next to Volstagg and Hogun and began to eat from Volstagg's container of french fries.

Between them, Barton and Volstagg had finished off the fries before Agent Coulson and Erik Selvig appeared, followed by Thor and Loki. Thor grinned at his friends and pumped a fist in the air. "The child yet lives!"

"Great success!" cheered Volstagg, and in a second he and Hogun were slapping Thor on the back and congratulating him and Loki. Even Barton shot them a thumb's up.

"I'm so glad to hear that, Thor," said Lady Sif as she and Jane walked up, hand-in-hand. A moment later, Fandral and Darcy came stumbling out of the twilight shadows, noticeably sweatier and more rumpled.

"Hey, I knew it'd all be okay," Darcy told Loki. "And if you ever need a babysitter for the little prince or princess, give me a call."

"The prince or princess-oh, no!" Loki moaned, clutching at his head. Thor ran to his side, startled.

"What is wrong, Loki?"

"Nothing, it's just - I just realized our child was conceived in an RV! In New Mexico!" Loki looked distraught at this realization.

Jane's mouth fell open and her brows quirked in horror. "Hey, wait... it was conceived in _my RV_?" she cried. Fortunately, Sif distracted her with a passionate kiss, and Jane forgot about the whole thing.

"Does this mean you have to go home now?" Darcy asked Fandral. She was trying to put on a brave face, but her insides twisted at the thought. Thor and Loki, and now Fandral and the other Asgardians, they were something special, her connection to a beautiful and amazing world way more epic than endless polisci classes and the grind of daily life. Maybe it was a little selfish of her, but Darcy wasn't quite ready to give that up yet.

"It will not be for long," Thor assured her. "We must return to Asgard and set aright what has gone wrong. We will never abandon Midgard, or you." He regarded Erik, Darcy, and Jane. "Long have I known the Lady Sif and the Warriors Three would stand beside me against all threats. Though Loki and I were strangers to you, the three of you gave to us your time, your friendship, and your protection. I am privileged to have found your like in this world. You are, and will ever be, true friends to Thor."

"And to Loki," added Loki.

Sif caught Jane's hands in hers and pulled her close, whispering something into her ear that made Jane choke out a little sob. Fandral kissed Darcy's hand and said, "I will see you soon, milady."

"You better," Darcy said, wiping a tear from her eye.

Thor nodded to Erik. "Dr. Selvig," he rumbled.

"Thor, god of Thunder," said Erik, and he shook Thor's hand.

Barton looked about him, and pointing to himself and Coulson, asked, "What about us?"

Loki smirked at him. "We will be getting to know one another better soon enough, Hawkeye. I hope you are all that Coulson assures us you are."

At hearing that, Barton shot Coulson a curious look, but Coulson kept his face perfectly blank and said nothing in response.

After goodbyes were exchanged, the Asgardians and Loki stood in formation and Thor called out, "Heimdall, open the Bifrost!"

The next thing they saw was Asgard.

Heimdall greeted them at the Observatory, but the next Asgardian they laid eyes on was Frigga as she came galloping up on her horse. Seeing Thor, she slid from her saddle and threw herself into her son's arms, breathless and flushed.

"How I've missed you," wept Frigga.

"And I you," Thor said, stroking his hands through her hair. Stepping back, he asked, "And what of Father? Does he yet live?"

"Barely," said Frigga, her lips trembling. "He clings to life by a thread." She laid a hand on Thor's arm, as though trying to comfort him. "And there is more. The Frost Giants have been threatening war."

"I'll see to that," said Loki, and before their astonished eyes his cloak folded across him, wrapping around and twirling down, swallowing itself and him with it. In a twinkling, Loki vanished from this world.

"Should we be concerned?" asked Frigga, her eyes wide.

Thor smiled. "I trust that Loki will return. For now, let us see to Odin." He spun Mjolnir and took off like a shot, Frigga galloping behind on her horse and Sif and the Warriors Three bringing up the rear. Thor burst into his father's bedchambers to find Odin laying abed, so still that the only sign he still lived was a telltale heartbeat. Kneeling at his bedside, clutching Odin's hand in his, Thor began to speak.

"I have returned to Asgard from exile," he said. "My time on Midgard has taught me much, most especially how to love and respect. Loki and I can never repay the lessons we have been taught." His voice cracked, but Thor forged ahead. "In my rash youth, I longed to be king. Now, I know that no son ever had so wise a father, nor has any man served so brave a king..."

Odin's chest rose as he took a breath, and Thor thrilled to feel his father's fingers gently squeezing his own. "Nor has any man had such a son," Odin murmured.

Frigga, who had just arrived, ran in and burst into tears at seeing her husband and son reunited. Reconciled. She and Thor helped Odin sit up, and for the first time in several days they looked on each other with fondness and joy. "I've so much to tell you both," Thor said, his eyes shining.

Though he had lived in Asgard since the day of his birth, Thor doubted he would ever take its splendor for granted again. Everything about Asgard seemed new again: it's air seemed fresher, it's water purer, it's spires and towers more awe-inspiring. He ached to share it with Loki. But a day passed, and then two, and Loki did not return. Thor became frantic. He could not believe that Loki would abandon him, not after all they'd faced together, all they'd shared together, but perhaps something terrible had befallen him on Jotunheim. Thor would never forgive himself if he let Loki go to his doom.

On the third day, as Thor began to plan, with the assistance of Lady Sif and the Warriors Three, a rescue mission into the heart of Jotunheim itself, Loki returned as unexpectedly as he'd departed. He appeared out of the billowing smoke of the great hall's fireplace, stepping out of the flames and brushing ash from his clothing. He seemed much the same but for a jagged scar across his forehead.

Loki refused to explain where the scar came from. "It matters not now," he said cryptically. "I am undisputed king of Jotunheim, and as a monarch in my own right, I may come and go as I please. And I may keep some small secrets to myself. Why, do you find my scar ugly?"

"I could never turn from you," Thor told him earnestly, "because of some small marks upon your face."

At last, they were alone again in Thor's bedchambers, able to kiss and love one another freely, become accoustomed to holding one another in the night. Much to Thor's relief, Loki's feet were not cold, although he discovered that Loki stole the blankets as they slept. Thor resolved to accept his consort's small failing.

Sif and Fandral yearned so for their human lovers that Thor decided to return them to Earth, as an 'honor guard' for Jane and Darcy in his and Loki's absence. Thor and Loki themselves would remain on Asgard for the remainder of the pregnancy, although convincing Loki of that turned out to be the hard part.

Two weeks into the pregnancy, Loki became odd, or at least odder than he had been. He started building little hideyholes in out-of-the-way places, sneaking off in the form of a snake or a horse for hours at a time, and once Thor even found him crying over a song on the iPod Darcy had given him. Thor was at his wit's end until Odin sat him down.

"Fear not, my son," Odin assured him. "Jotuns become broody when they're pregnant. They build nests, become emotional, weepy, blame you for things you knew not you had done, threaten invasion of the Earth realm..."

Thor had been nodding along until this last bizarre tangent. "Father, how do you know all this?" he asked.

Odin was overcome with a coughing fit. "Er, no reason."

Despite what he had thought at first, Loki's pregnany lasted eight weeks, two weeks longer than a normal Jotun pregnancy. Though a human or Asgardian woman might've counted herself lucky to come to term in only two months - Frigga loved reminding them that she had still been nauseous at the two month mark when she carried Thor - Loki pouted and fretted. The only thing that could distract him from how huge and miserable he felt was studying books on Earth magick, for as he explained to Thor, "If we're to spend so much time on Midgard I need to know how to tap into their magicks."

"Could you not before?" asked Thor.

Loki shook his head. "What you saw in New Mexico was but the residual power I had left from Jotunheim and Asgard. I could've tapped Midgard's magicks, aye, but I knew not how to master them. I might've collapsed all of Midgard into a singularity, and us with it. But now I will prepared."

So it was when Thor awoke just after midnight to find Loki gone from their bed, he assumed Loki had snuck off to pore over his books. He stumbled down to the study to find Loki's favorite book open at the spine, its pages still warm from Loki's fingers. A strange intuition led Thor to the belltower, which he climbed by torchlight, up a thousand and one winding steps to the top. There he found Loki curled in a bundle of furs, in her female form. Feeling the warmth of Thor's torch on her skin, Loki flickered her eyes open, and brushed aside her hair to reveal a baby tucked in the crook of her arm. Thor knelt and peered down, feeling as though this were all a dream and he might awake at any moment.

The baby slept peacefully, lips a little open, warm next to his mother. From the thatch of hair upon his head, Thor saw that he would be dark-haired like Loki. Thor brushed a knuckle against their child's cheek, then looked up to see Loki watching him warily, like a mother cat watches he who handles her kittens. He wondered why, then thought of an answer himself; Jotuns did not partner to raise their young. Loki's instincts told him to fear others around his little one, even Thor himself.

"He's beautiful," Thor said softly. He kissed Loki on her lips. "I love you."

The tension in Loki's body seemed to melt away, and she stroked Thor's hair and kissed him back hungrily. Between them, the baby whimpered, waving his tiny fists. His eyes cracked open, newborn blue of course, but Thor suspected they would stay forever blue. He dropped another kiss on their son's forehead.

* * *

><p>A<em> year later, Midgard<em>

Sturm Thorsson awoke from his nap and rolled onto his belly. He wiggled to the wall of his playpen, and grabbing two handfuls of netting, pulled himself into a standing position. Looking about and seeing no one, he called out. "HOOOYAAAH!"

A figure came into sight; not his father or his mother, but Sturm's third favorite person, his uncle Clint. "C'mere, viking baby!" Hawkeye said as he plucked Sturm from his playpen.

Tony Stark, who was slumped across the counter in a kitchen alcove a few feet away, groaned. It was too early in the morning and his hangover was much too intense for this. Unlike Clint, who'd adored Sturm from the moment he laid eyes on him, Tony had no liking for babies. They were messy and loud and worst of all, they didn't come with an off-switch. "Isn't someone supposed to be watching the kid?"

"Thor and Loki are right down the hall," Clint told him, sitting in a cushy chair so he could bounce Sturm on his foot. "Ride the horsie! Ride the horsie!"

At Sturm's delighted squeals, Tony staggered off in search of someplace quiet and dark. For all that he technically owned Avengers mansion, it seemed like all sorts of gods and mutants and robots and babies had the run of it most days. He supposed he should just be grateful that Loki had bound Sturm's Jotun powers so he didn't turn them all into blocks of ice every time he had a tantrum.

Thor stuck his head in the door. "Ah, Hawkeye! What are you doing with my son?" Even as he spoke, Loki strolled around him into the room, keeping one eye on Sturm but making no move to take him away from Clint.

Earth residents for a year and a handful of days, Thor and Loki were a case study in how deceiving appearances could be. Loki had adjusted amazingly well to the modern world, but notwithstanding how nice he - and sometimes _she_, what a lucky bastard Thor was - looked in a double-breasted suit, he never quite seemed like he fit in. Thor, on the other hand, remained an Asgardian to the core of his being but wore a pair of blue jeans like he was born for it.

"Ah, we're just havin' us a good time, ain't we, Sturm?" Clint asked. In reply, Sturm burbled at him happily. Loki crouched on the floor next to them and combed back Sturm's black hair. Clint grinned at Thor over his shoulder. "We deserve a little downtime between supervillains, don't we?"

"Speaking of that..." Loki trailed off. Clint groaned.

"You're kidding! Who is it this week? The killer robot with the Oedipal complex? The German guy in the pink mask? Don't tell me it's Doc Banner on a rampage."

"I believe the king of Atlantis has declared war on the surface world again," said Loki, lifting Sturm from his place on Clint's foot.

Thor sighed. "I'll call Darcy and ask her to babysit."

Loki considered this. "Invite Fandral while you're at it. He'll come along anyway."

Clint playfully pinched at Sturm's belly. "Sorry kid, gotta go save the world again with mom and dad. Hey, when you gonna get tall enough to come along with us?"

Sturm blew bubbles at him.

_The End_


End file.
